So, you have an older brother? Was he single-handedly the most irritating and frustrating person you grew up with? Perhaps he was always there to pick out your flaws and actively seek out new ways to pester you. Maybe the love-hate relationship between you two was 99 percent hate and a rather questionable 1 percent love. As much as you may have hated your older brother growing up, your relationship undeniably shaped the individuals you both became later in life.
1. He wrestled with you and gave no mercy.
You both had some well-deserved battle scars. A solid-red handprint on the back, a bruise from a push of the hand that was stronger than you expected. Between you and your older brother, there were no sissy punches. He treated you like an equal opponent when arguments became heated. He made you stronger in the sense that you’re not afraid to hold your own. When you surprise someone with your uncanny strength, your first response is generally, “I grew up with an older brother.”
2. He was always using the TV or computer when you wanted it.
Without fail, when your TV show came on, he was still watching his show or playing the Nintendo 64. You yelled and complained, but he wouldn’t budge. What else were you supposed to do? You became used to finding other things to keep yourself occupied when your first choice wasn’t an option anymore. You used that time to go read a book, go outside, or call up your neighbor instead. You became more adaptable and accepting of the awful concept of sharing.
3. He tattled on you to Mom and Dad
.
The late afternoon snack you had before dinner? He saw and, when your parents ask why you didn’t finish your dinner, your brother happily delivers the explanation. The time you got in trouble at school? If your teacher didn’t say anything to your parents, your brother surely did. While you know he would always rat you out on the things that gave him some leverage on you as a child, you know that deep down, he’s someone you can confide in for the things that matter. You grew up together. You were taught the same morals and values. You want the best for him and know that he’s got your back, too.
4. He told his friends how weird you were so that he seemed cooler.
In the instance his friend made a comment about you, he was sure to respond with, “Ew, you like my sister? (Insert insult here)” But if he ever heard anyone else saying negative things about you, he would immediately defend you – no matter what. It falls into the double standards of brotherhood, kind of like the relationship between Janice and Damian in “Mean Girls” – “it’s only OK when I say it!”
5. He always made the rules because he was older.
Yeah, you hated that he made the rules of any games you played. Of course, everything would always be in his favor. Well, surprise! That’s what the majority of people in this world are out to do – create scenarios which work out best for them. Dealing with this sense of being dealt a lesser hand prepares you for recognizing it and managing it in the future.
In my personal experience, it felt like there was no one I disliked more than my brother when I was growing up. We couldn't even sit next to each other at the dinner table. Once we got on our own paths and really started shaping our lives, however, I realized how much I took our relationship for granted. For anyone out there with an older brother – I urge you to reach out to them and tell them how much you love them. Appreciate their words of wisdom and give them your guidance whenever they need it – you never know which goodbye will be the last.
