In my life I am surrounded by multiple people of multiple ages. I am given advice by everyone in the mist and I give advice to them as well. A couple years ago, I received some great advice from a thirty something man. He is one of those guy who I always thought was a jerk, probably treated woman not so well and didn’t realize a good thing when he had it. But that was me just judging him... Even though I thought all these things, we seemed to get along. It may have been because we shared the same sarcasm. He is a great dad and always tells me about his life with his family.
One day we were talking about dating.
He was sharing with me all the details of his past and it was a great conversation. He dated a girl for more than three years, thought he was going to marry her and was very happy with her. Events over time made him realize, they were not fit for each other anymore.
He explained that they hung onto things for while after they dated, it was one of those things that they knew was ending but couldn’t bring to do it.
About four months after the break up, he met his now wife. He said it came out of no where and he was still thinking about his ex. He realized he didn’t want to lose this girl and put the effort in to make it happen. We talked about ages and events in our lives that take us to where we are now. As he told me about his past instead of being sad over it, he started laughing at the craziness, the stories and just how things have changed. It was a good reminder that we all will look back at what we thought were the hardest parts of our lives and maybe laugh.
The advice he told me was things we already know but sometimes it is better to hear from someone older, someone who I actually didn’t expect to have such great advice.
This is the 5 pieces of advice he gave me:
1. Be Patient and Wait
He explained the best thing he ever did was be patient and wait for things to happen sometimes. When he rushed things or went right into something, it never worked out. Patience is something we all need to learn, it is the hardest thing but the best.
2. Watch how much you give
Watch how much you give to someone because some people have no problem taking advantage of you and if you continue to give without anything in return you may never be happy with the results.
3. Sometimes its best to stay away
Sometimes when there is issues or drama sometimes it is best just stay far away from it. To do what you need to do with your life and figure out what is best for yourself during this times. No one needs that stuff in their life and sometime it is best to give these things time and to stay away from them. You will be happier at the end of the day.
4. Don’t rush anything
Never rush to be in a relationship, never settle and just remember everything will happen one day the way it should. If you rush into something you will settle and not be happy. Marriage is hard and you have to make sure you are head over heels.
5. Leave the baggage behind
Sometimes we don’t want to lose people in our lives that a huge impact on our lives but sometimes we have to walk away from the baggage to completely be with someone else and be happy with them, eventually you will be much happier.
It was such a good view to have from a guy that had been through a lot more than I thought. I guess at the same time I learned we all have our past so judging them will never help you know the real them. I think for me sometimes getting advice from people that have been experienced in this area of the opposite sex is important. It brings a different perspective to everything and reminds me that we all go through so many different things that the rest of the world isn’t aware about. Stay strong and be yourself.
So, what advice would you give someone?
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