As my mother once said (screamed actually) after reading the data overage charges on my cell phone bill, "Money doesn't grow on trees!" This crushing truth led me, like millions of other Americans, to get what us professionals in the field like to call "a job."

Speaking as someone who worked not one, not two, but three odd jobs this summer, I can confidently say that the workplace can be a strange and complex place. Whether you work in a corporate office or your neighborhood Dunkin' Donuts, there are five constant archetypes to welcome and guide you once your enter the magical land of the working world.

1. The overenthusiastic worker, aka the try-hard.

This is the person that eats, sleeps, and breaths the job. Whether they work at Wendy's or on Wall Street, this is the employee that has a genuine passion for what they do, the business, and the brand they work for. They show up early to their shift, stay late, and even go as far as to volunteer working weekends and holidays. And while employers may see this person as the ideal employee, Try-Hards should come with a warning label- caring too much about the job usually sends this worker into a spin when things go wrong or get stressful at the office.This leads them to transform into a fire breathing dragon, leaving a path of destruction and shredded paperwork in their wake.

2. The slacker.

This worker is the complete antithesis of the employee mentioned previously. The Slacker likes to show up 20 minutes late each shift and is either sick, tired, or hungover (usually all three!). In addition to showing up smelling like weed and beer, the Slacker also comes with other special features like the 30-minute bathroom break and last minute vague reasons for calling out like “family emergencies,” being “sick,” and “car trouble.” And finally, once the slacker has completed its 8-ish hours (depending on what time they finally showed up) of doing as little work as possible and checking their phone every five minutes, they will request to leave early. On the bright side, as long as the other employees show up awake and sober, they will shine in comparison in the eyes of the boss.

3. The boss.

Now, we introduce the first person you probably met while entering the pearly gates of 9 to 5 heaven: The Boss. The boss comes in a variety of extremes, like the one who is too busy to even bother knowing your name (I spent three years being referred to as Jess-Long Hair) and the micromanager. You know, the one constantly breathing down your neck and watching your every move in the hopes that you will screw up and give them something to yell about. They are probably the one who hired you, which leaves you forever in their debt, so you will likely have to honor their every request, no matter how absurd.

4. The regulars.

Although this one mostly applies to businesses in the customer service industry like restaurants and retail stores, it is important nonetheless. The Regulars are the bread and butter of the business; they have been coming there since the place opened, or if they are of senior citizen age since “before you were born." They come daily or weekly around the same time and order the same thing. They are on a first name basis with all of the staff and their orders are usually completed without having to ask. Regulars come in all shapes and sizes, ranging from Long Island soccer moms to the old lady who never wears a bra and hasn’t combed her hair since the second World War. They are the VIPs of diners, restaurants, bars, and coffee places alike, and whether it be rain, sleet, snow, or zombie apocalypse, they will always return to get their iced venti mocha frappe, skim milk and extra whipped.

5. The work best friend, aka the WBFF.

In the spirit of keeping the best for last, the fifth person you will meet at work is the work best friend. Also known as the work husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend, the WBFF is the reason for coming to work. They make the slow hours of the work day go by just a little bit faster, even if you do end up hardly working instead of working hard. They are the ones that show up with Starbucks for those God-awful early mornings, without you even asking. You have a special bond over things like rude customers and cranky bosses that your other friends just don't understand. In the happiest ever after, your work bestie can even move up to real life best friend status.