Clowns are terrifying. There is no other way to say it. The big shoes, the big nose and the wicked laugh are absolutely terrifying. Like every kid, I loved clowns. I wanted one at every single one of my birthday parties because of the balloon animals and the funny laugh. Well, that all took a turn for the worse when I saw The Brave Little Toaster (1987) for the first time. It was an overall adorable movie. Did I mention that there was a clown in the bathtub...onfire? When that clown started laughing and turned evil… I don’t even want to get started on the nightmares. Then it turned into me accidentally watching Stephen King’s novel turn into a 1990 film, It. The razor sharp teeth and the long fingers just freaked me out. What happened! Clowns used to be so great and now my greatest childhood memory has been manipulated to that of complete terror. What is wrong with people. Well, thanks to random strangers dressing up as clowns to kidnap people and the rendition of clowns as serial killers in Hollywood, this has led me to write this article. Here are the five movies that just destroyed your childhood…all because of a clown. Welcome to my life.
1. The Brave Little Toaster.
Thank you, Disney. I am not afraid of fire, clowns and my cooking objects coming alive.
2. It.
Thank you, Stephen King, for now making me afraid of sewers.
3. Zombieland.
If you are in a zombie apocalypse and are staring directly a a clown, what would you do? Yeah, same. Run... run very fast.
4. Happy Gilmore.
Although this was not necessarily scary, I am pretty sure all you hear right now is the laughing clown from the mini golf course, right? "You're gonna die clown!"
5. Airbud.
Okay, I loved this movie. What killed it for me was the makeup on the clown. Reminded me of when I discovered the miracle of foundation.
Now, in light of the "clown craze" going on right now, I am definitely more afraid of clowns than I was before. With that said, Halloween is right around the corner. Candy, ringing doorbells and costume parties are what makes this holiday so great, right? However, if I see one clown come to my doorstep, well... I will just give Happy Gilmore a golf club and call it a day.
