Well my friends, Lent is almost over, and hopefully we’re all keeping to our resolutions. I know I haven’t stuck to mine 100%, but I have certainly learned a lot so far. I’d like to share with you some experiences and words of wisdom that I learned from my first retreat to encourage you to keep persevering.

But before I begin, I’d like to explain what a retreat is. A practical definition of a retreat is when you stay at some kind of religious center or monastery in order to get away from the world and its distractions and problems. This helps to clear your mind so you can think and pray more deeply, and thus get closer with God. It gives you the space, time, and quiet you need to focus on your own spiritual development, hence the word “retreat.” A Catholic retreat also involves talks or conferences, where you have the opportunity to study and learn about your faith. Combine that with Mass, the Rosary, and good conversation with faith-minded people, and you’ve got a really good set-up for growing in your relationship with God. Now, the retreat I attended was all women, and it was not a silent retreat. A silent retreat has one extra rule: no talking. The silence forces you to focus more on your soul and on God through prayer. I was not going that intense yet, so this retreat worked just fine, and it was only for the weekend. So, here are five things that stood out to me the most during my period of reflection:

• Appearances aren’t everything: The retreat house I stayed in was an old convent building in Sloatsburg, NY. Unfortunately, it was in a lot of disrepair. The bedrooms were clean and neat, but everything was decorated with old, “grandma’s attic” style furnishings. Many things were just falling apart. I was actually grossed out by the bathrooms, and I was super glad I brought my flip-flops to wear in the shower. However, as I spent more time in prayer and since I was forced to make the best of things for 48 hours, I found that even though my surroundings were not ideal, they helped me to focus more on God. If I still had all the comforts I have at home, then I would not have grown as much spiritually. Since I couldn’t do anything about my physical comfort, I had no choice but to reflect on what I could be doing to be a better person. By the end of the weekend, I almost didn’t notice or even mind the bathroom. That’s a pretty fast turn-around!

• Prayer is really, really important: Praying is not something that should be “optional.” It is talking with God. How are we supposed to become closer to Him if we never set aside time to speak with Him? The priest in charge of the retreat explained that prayer can be divided into two kinds: vocal and mental. Vocal prayer is any kind of formulated prayer that can be memorized, and while this form of prayer is essential to our growth in faith, mental prayer often is completely ignored. Mental prayer is merely talking to God in our own words. It’s recommended that we pray 15 minutes of mental prayer every day, in a quiet place where we won’t be interrupted. One way of approaching mental prayer is by using the method of St. Ignatius Loyola. He wrote that it’s helpful to imagine yourself talking to Christ in a scene from the Gospels. By placing yourself in the scene with Him, you might find it easier to speak from your heart. This helped me to be even more firm in my goal to make sure that prayer is a daily priority.

• We can do big things for God in small ways: A common misconception among people of faith is that we have to do really big, important things for God. That is not the case. Even the smallest things in life have great value in God’s eyes when done with much love. God gave each one of us the life we have, and if we live that life well, then we are still fulfilling our purpose. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t aspire to greater things, but for the many of us who have the haunting feeling that we’re not doing enough, it’s comforting to know that God doesn’t expect us to over-achieve. After all, He knows above everyone that we are all a work in progress.

• We aren’t meant to stay on retreat: Father told us that God doesn’t want us on retreat—at least not for always. He wanted us to be there for just the time frame that we were given. Faith is not something we’re supposed to hide. It’s not warm and fuzzy feelings, but fighting a constant battle. We battle against our faults and against temptations from the outside world to give up on God. We’re supposed to live our faith and share it, and that can only be done by going back out into the world, into our crazy lives, and then to live those lives in as holy a manner as possible. I couldn’t have asked for a better send-off.

• Perseverance is possible: While the road to becoming a better you is a long one, filled with many obstacles, it is not impossible to be the person God meant you to be. One tactic to hold fast to our resolutions when things get rough is to write out a plan for the next day. Paper and pencil—it’s that simple. Before you go to sleep, create two columns on a piece of paper. On the left, write down everything you need to accomplish the following day. This includes prayer, spiritual reading, and any extra obligations you might have. On the right, write down every hour of the day that you will have available to you to complete those things. Then, cross-check your two columns. This is a simple way of utilizing your time efficiently so you can actually accomplish the things that have been piling up on your list, as well as making time for your faith, and other activities that bring you peace and tranquility.

This is certainly a lot to take in, and it only skims the surface of what I learned on this retreat, but I will be trying very hard to put these things into practice. Hopefully, this advice that has affected me so deeply will also help you to embark on that journey towards the solid foundation of truth and love that God can provide. And if there’s one over-arching theme I learned from this retreat, it’s that He is ready to give those blessings. We just have to empty ourselves of the things that aren’t important in order to receive them.