If you happen to be from the great Constitution State, you know these things are true.
1. Tools are useful.
If you happen to be from Connecticut, one of the first things you know to be true is that tools can be helpful. If you have a clogged sink, or broken chair, tools will help you fix those things. In fact, there is a law in CT stating that tools are people too, and that tools should be treated with respect. So overnight before you go to sleep, you must tuck your tools in first.
2. Dogs are cute.
This is especially unique to Connecticut. Often, dogs can be pet up to three times a day! Puppies are also very cute, so please don’t forget about those baby dogs. There is a law in Connecticut stating that dogs must always be wearing a hat. If they don’t they are considered naked, and that translates to public indecency, and dogs can be sued. So watch out.
3. Trucks are normally larger than cars.
The nutmeg state knows this fact well. Trucks can be very large, and cars, in comparison, can be very small. However, minivans can take up a lot of road as well. But those are normally for families. However, not always. We Connecticutters don’t know for sure who drives minivans and who doesn’t, and it’s not in our place to create laws for who can and cannot. There is a law in CT that says trucks require at least six bumper stickers in order to get a better understanding of who the person is that drives a truck.
4. Gravity is the universal law.
In Connecticut, gravity is applicable everywhere. From New Haven to Greenwich, gravity follows you everywhere in the state. When you throw a Pepe’s pizza in the air, it almost always comes down, unless it gets suck on the ceiling, but that is a rare occurrence. Apples from Bishops fall to the ground when they are over-ripe, or pulled down by a small child. When you’re in the insurance capital, Hartford, when you drop a pen after signing some insurance papers, it falls down. Hardly ever, in CT, is gravity not law. Sometimes there are anti-chambers, but that is uncommon. There is a law in CT that says that gravity is a law.
5. Rain is good and bad.
Rain is great when you want plants to grow. However, in CT, it really sucks if you want to walk around outside without getting wet. Unless you have a great rain jacket or umbrella, it is hard to avoid the rain in Connecticut if you happen to be in the fresh air. Rain is great, as mentioned above, for growing plants. Famers especially love rain. Also gardeners. Rain is when the sky cries, so when it rains, everyone is CT has to shed at least four tears. It’s a state law, thanks to Governor Dannel Molloy. Thanks, governor. Also, when it snows, it’s state law to freeze your tears, because snow is just frozen tears falling from the sky. Connecticut is full of very real scientific studies.
