Pokémon Go has barely been in existence for very long, yet it’s accomplished more than most of us will in a lifetime. Two things often happen when a phenomenon like Pokémon occurs. One, you admittedly hop on the Pokémon train, or two, you bash it but secretly love to play it while no one is looking. Don’t let all of those haters on Twitter and other social media fool you. They love it but aren’t ready to admit it. As someone who has been trying to hide my love for the game this past week, I have experienced many issues. Besides the physical activity, here are a few struggles I’ve encountered these past two weeks.
1. Hatching Eggs
I obviously walk down the street with the app open to get as many kilometers as possible so that my eggs can hatch. I do this all while holding the phone against my body so that no one can see my screen. Hint: While the app is open and you are walking, go to your settings and check the battery saver option. Then flip your phone upside down. This will save you battery and a black screen will appear, hiding your shame.
2. Catching Pokémon
In public I try to hide my excitement when once in a blue moon I find a rare Pokémon. The hardest part of it all is trying to swipe my finger forward to throw the Pokéball while not making it too obvious to everyone around me that I’m trying to catch a digital fictional animal.
3. Pokéstops
Pokéstops aren’t that interesting until you start to run low on Pokéballs. Unfortunately, I run out of Pokéballs often, and then I have to suck it up and pull into that shopping center with three lured Pokéstops to maximize my time. Then I awkwardly make eye contact with the 20 drivers around me doing the exact same thing.
4. Gyms
Once you reach level five you’re so excited to finally get a shot at a battle. But let’s be honest in saying that you really don’t have a shot until you hit a higher level and earn more CP (combat points). Once I got to the point where I had a fair shot at winning a battle I had to be selective about which gyms I battled at. I couldn’t battle at a popular gym because if I won, I would risk people seeing my username and recognizing it. So, I have to find off-the-grid gyms to battle at. Hint: Don’t register with the same username you use for all other accounts. People may recognize it.
5. The Server
I was in a park yesterday 'walking my dog,' which meant I was just really trying to catch Pokémon. While there, the worst happened and the server went down. All at once I think I heard every curse word under the sun and even one from myself. Immediately I looked around at everyone and tried to wear a confused look on my face as to communicate, “why did everyone just curse?” when the truth was I was dying inside.
It’s a hard life being a closet Pokémon user. I don’t think I’m quite ready to admit my obsession to the world quite yet, but unfortunately, I think I may have just confessed.
