So I have the best boyfriend in the world. He's smart, he can sometimes be a pain in the ass, but he is also someone other people can be friends with. I have seen more often that not, that women generally pick the "bad boys" before the "good" ones. Have you ever heard the term "I would marry them but I wouldn't date them"? That is generally associated with having a great personality but lacking in the "cool" factor. Here are some things you should consider in a relationship before actually getting into one.
1. Do they have goals for the future?
It is so important to know what you want with each other. This kind of goes with #5. My boyfriend always tells me that if someone doesn't have any aspirations or any type of goal setting in mind, do they actually have a future and the one you want for yourself? Probably not. Truth is, a lot of people don't know what they want to do with their life. That is perfectly fine and not what I am saying. Little goals like getting up in the morning and going to work is a goal. Making time for yourself is one too. And thinking long-term is another. I have learned a lot about setting my goals and actually seeing them get accomplished over the past couple years. My plans line up with his and eventually we will get to a point where we are both in the lead of our own lives. Not every goal is the same but every goal is worth it.
2. Do they treat you right?
Holding doors open and paying for dinners is one thing. I try to actually do the same, because who cares about gender stereotypes, am I right? I do both. But I have seen a lot of people just go along with people who treat them terribly. It is like they don't exist to each other. Know when someone isn't treating you right. That guy may have a decent car and tattoos to show off, but what is up with his personality? If a relationship for show is what you want, then that is up to you. But for me personally, I don't see that going anywhere quick.
3. Are they reliable?
I can always count on him to be on time, to be respectful, and to always have my back in sticky situations. A good friend, not just a relationship, is based on trust. Some just get back with their person because it "wasn't cheating". Or they defend their significant other with things that just don't add up. Be respectful to yourself, it will get your far in relationships.
4. Are they good with other people?
My boyfriend loves my friends. We all hang out like we are a friend group and not like a third wheel situation. Some would be very awkward around friends but with him, I don't have to worry about it. That maturity I see is what will carry him and me far in life.
5. Can you see each other going long-term?
I can see myself going far. I see a career, a home life, my future husband (and dog), and life long friends by my side. We build off of each other and every day can be a battle just to keep from being too worked up about the future. There are moments I have doubted myself, but that happens and it's okay. We see each other in the future and it is okay to talk about these things with each other. There is a taboo today about talking about the future too early, as if your relationship started out ending. No, talk about it. Please do, because regrets aren't fun and don't regret a life that you might actually enjoy together.
