Growing up Latina in the United States is one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. So far it has been a journey of excitement, learning, frustration, acceptance, and one full of amazing food. Being half Colombian, I get a kick out of trying to convince people that Shakira is my third cousin while indulging in bandeja paisa. Being half Venezuelan, there is a 100% chance I will tell you about the glorious experience that is eating a cachapa on a Saturday morning. In my school district, there were very, very few Latinos, which resulted in my peers taking a little longer to get to know me and my culture. In elementary school, I was often ridiculed for speaking Spanish and having an uncanny resemblance to Dora the Explorer. Instead of being proud of my ethnicity, I hid. It took three weeks in Venezuela and several arepas to convince me that it made me special. Once I got to high school, everyone in my Spanish class wanted to be my best friend. Guess who I didn't give the answers to?
Being Latino is something to be proud of. It's something to embrace, cherish, and love. Most of us that we grew up with this gift can relate to these signs.
1. When your mom talks on the phone, and you can hear her from another planet.
"Mom, she can hear you just as well when you use your normal voice."
2. When your mom is running around the room with a sandal (chancleta), and it's not because there's a bug in the room.
This is when you know you genuinely messed up. Run.
3. When you never got to celebrate Christmas in the morning because you celebrate it on December 24 at midnight.
Santa obviously favors Latino kids, right?
4. When people say come at 6 p.m., and your family arrives at 8:30 p.m.
5. When dinner parties go until 3 a.m., and everyone is blasting music while singing and dancing along.
Because what's a night without listening to Gaitas and talking about Venezuelan politics?
6. Everyone at school: "How do you say [expletive] in Spanish?"
7. When everyone wants to be your best friend in Spanish class.
When the teacher said everyone could choose their own partner, this is an accurate representation of what would happen.
8. When you find another Spanish speaker in your school.
A blessing.
9. Vicks VapoRub cures everything.
Ebola? VapoRub.
10. When a song with Spanish lyrics comes on the radio and everyone asks you what they mean.
11. When you speak in Spanish to your mom on the phone, and everyone's silently looking at you like you have five heads.
12. Your friends walk into your home and automatically comment on how it smells amazing because your dinner is being made in the kitchen.
Instead of my room, my friends spend more time in my kitchen smelling everything. Like, do you want some?
13. You've been asked at least five times if you eat tacos for dinner every night.
No. Please don't ask again.
14. You've been annoyed at everyone asking if you're Mexican just because you speak Spanish. There are other Spanish speaking countries, bro.
"Do you speak Mexican?"
15. Being able to talk crap about someone in public with your mom in Spanish because nobody will understand you.
If you're wearing an ugly outfit, chances are that me and my mom are talking about you in Spanish.
16. You discover a new cousin every single day. You're still unsure how many you actually have. Probably 100.
I've come to the conclusion that I will never meet all of my cousins.
17. You can't tell who you're actually related to because you've grown up calling every adult "tia" and "tio" and just assume everyone around your age is a cousin.
"I like you, we're probably related."
18. Having an extremely long full name.
19. When people ask you to say your full name.
20. When people ask you to say your full name with "an accent."
21. "You don't look Latina."
Yes, my skin is lighter. Yes, I'm still Latina.
22. Being judged for taking a Spanish class when you already speak it.
23. If you don't speak Spanish, having the world come down on you when they find out.
24. "Say something in Spanish!"
"Say what?"
"Anything."
"Hola."
"OK, now say something hard."
25. Being called Dora. Shoutout to everyone in my fifth grade class.
26. Being Dora for Halloween and causing a riot.
27. When company comes over, your mom will scrub the entire house spotless.
28. "Shouldn't your butt be really big because you're a Latina?"
Pendejo.
29. If you stay home sick, your mom will still expect you to clean the house.
A day in bed is a day wasted. Even if you're dying, you will most likely still have to clean the house in exchange for being able to stay home.
30. Being naturally good-looking.
Thanks, genetics.
31. Feeling lonely when you can't find someone else to speak Spanish to.
32. While most little girls learn ballet at five years old, you were already getting down to salsa and bachata.
33. When people ask you to roll your r's like it's a magic trick.
34. Introducing your native foods to your best friends.
35. Eating arepas religiously.
Arepas are the best thing ever. You can fill them up with almost anything, and it will still taste good. Carne mechada? Yes, please.
36. Being heartbroken when your normal diet of Latino foods get substituted for a cheeseburger every day at college.
37. You will never not watch a "Joanna Rants" video on YouTube.
38. Christmas is a huge deal. In Colombia, it almost lasts an entire month.
39. You have unrealistic expectations of love from telenovelas.
Still waiting for a guy to come and kiss me in the pouring rain.
40. "Stop yelling" when you think you're speaking at a normal volume.
Refer to number one.
41. If you can't dance, you're practically disowned from the family.
42. Soccer games are extremely important. The representation of your country is everything!
You don't even have to like or understand soccer. It's just a chance to wear your country's colors and go insane.
43. When someone attempts to speak to you in Spanish and you admire their efforts.
It's admirable when someone tries to speak Spanish. Will I giggle? Probably, but I still love you for trying.
44. You have an aggressive mother instinct when one of your friends falls sick.
The mom of the squad. Always have VapoRub handy.
45. When a teacher tries to pronounce your name and you just...
It's OK, it's OK. I'm here.
46. When someone takes a genuine interest in learning your language.
This is the best feeling in the entire world.
