Being the keeper of tiny humans can be a very interesting job. You are constantly breaking up arguments, cleaning up messes, trying to keep them safe, and telling them not to do things that are well, sometimes pretty weird. They do and say the strangest things that'll make you wonder what is really going on in their little heads.
1. "No no no, don't do..." *Something crashes to the floor* "... that."
2. "Bubbles in your mouths, everybody!"
3. "No, we don't eat our friend's snack."
4. "Hands to yourself."
5. "Get off of the table before you hurt yourself."
6. "Why do we even give them spoons?"
7. "We don't put toys in our mouths"
8. "Did you wash your hands?"
9. "Where do we run? Where are we right now?"
10. "Where are your shoes?"
11. "We don't talk like that here."
12. "Go tell them you're sorry"
13. "Get your finger out of your nose"
14. "Inside voices please!"
15. "Everyone find a buddy."
16. "Ew, ew, ew, somebody get me a tissue!"
17. "How did your shoes untie already? I just tied them five minutes ago."
18. "We do nice with our hands."
19. "Oh god, it's spaghetti day."
20. "Please, do not put noodles in your hair."
21. "Hold hands until we are on the playground!"
22. "5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head..."
23. "Do you have to poop?"
24. "Well, you should at least try."
25. "Why didn't you go to the potty before we went outside."
26. "If I hear "Let it go" one more time..."
27. "Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog.."
28. "Mommy and Daddy will come back, I promise."
29. "No, no biting!"
30. "She had it first, you'll just have to wait until she's done."
31. "Ew, why are you dipping everything in applesauce?"
32. "Now, are you going to eat the vegetable with the ranch or just the ranch?"
33. "Then why did you say you weren't eating a snack?"
34. "Put your arms back in your sleeves."
35. *Five minutes before closing* "Where are your parents??"
36. "I finally got him to sleep, everyone be quiet."
37. *You see one eye open* "Oh no..."
38. "Wow, all your kids are still sleeping!?" (We wish we said this more often)
39. "Don't eat that, it was on the floor!"
40. "Glue the googly eyes on here." *Puts the eyes anywhere but there*
41. "Stop fighting over who's going to turn off the lights, you'll get a turn tomorrow."
42. "Don't shove so much food in your mouth at once, you'll choke!"
43. "Chew and swallow your food before you get up."
45. "Don't touch anything until we wash your hands!"
As weird as these small people are, they are some of the sweetest beings on the planet. And although they drive you crazy, at the end of the day, they make you love your job.
