Around finals week we look back and wish we would've kept our promises. So, in light of the start of a new semester, let's try this again:
1. I promise I will actually keep these promises this time.
But usually, they last about as long as New Years Resolutions do...
2. I will eat breakfast every morning so maybe I will focus better in class.
Maybe my stomach won't start growling 10 minutes into lecture and I can pay attention to the material instead of thinking about lunch.
3. I will actually pay attention in class instead of texting my friends, making fun of my professor with the weird hair.
He has the degree. I do not. My parents aren't paying thousands of dollars for a degree in judging others. (That's just my minor lol)
4. I will sit at the front of the class.
I can get away with too much at the back, sitting in the front basically means you have to participate.
5. Hence, I will really participate.
I will actually raise my hand and answer questions, participation grade is a real thing. No reason I shouldn't have a 100 in it.
6. I won't wait till finals to make use of office hours.
Waiting till finals week is way too risky, I will make sure the professor recognizes my face. (Better chance that 79 gets bumped to an 80)
7. I will do the readings the night before.
It's hard to participate if you don't even know what the lecture is over...
8. I won't binge watch Netflix every night.
It's hard to study when you are on your 5th episode of Grey's Anatomy of the night.
9. I won't eat out so much.
You don't need Whataburger four times a week. That is borderline addiction. Get. Help. Ya. Filthy. Animal.
10. I am gonna workout at least 3 times a week.
Freshman 15 turns into Sophomore 30. Get up and workout or you'll be wearing a trash bag to your wedding.
11. I will be more social.
Enough texting your best friend in class about the smelly girl behind you or the hot guy next to you, use your words. Speak to them. (They might take good notes.)
12. I won't write an essay the night it is due.
Just because your teacher says you can't make a good grade if you procrastinate, doesn't mean you need to prove her wrong. She won't find it funny.
13. I won't cram the night before a test.
Study the material throughout the week so you don't wish for an early death the night before. ESPECIALLY during finals week.
14. I will keep my planner up to date.
Stop trying to remember when you have something due because more often than not you forget..
15. I will actually attend my SI sessions.
They have these sessions for a reason, use them.
16. I will visit the library more often.
I don't think you're supposed to be able to count on one hand how many times you've gone into the library.
17. I will call my parents more often than when I need money.
Your parents aren't your personal bank. As they say, "they brought you into this world they can take you out." So, you may wanna call them and just tell them you love them occasionally.
18. I will finally delete my Tinder. And not re-download it.
Let's face it, you only use it to entertain yourself while you procrastinate.
19. I won't nap during the day.
Don't come home and sink into bed for 3 hours. This is why you 'can't' sleep at night.
20. I won't eat out of stress or boredom.
If you catch yourself walking to the cabinet, punch yourself. In the food hole.
21. I won't consume as much alcohol.
This is a part of your sophomore 30. You don't need a shot for every life event. (Wellllllllll.....)
22. I won't go out when I have a test the next day.
No this doesn't relieve the stress. THIS IS THE STRESS.
23. I won't spend any more money on alcohol.
This is yet another reason to consume less alcohol, you can't afford it.
24. I won't online stress shop.
Yes, you have a big exam tomorrow. No, you don't need new shoes.
25. I won't procrastinate.
Stop saying "I'll do it later" because you won't. Just get it over with.
26. I will be more involved in my organizations.
Stop skipping meetings because you wanna lay in bed. Go be involved you lazy shit.
27. I will find more organizations to be involved in.
You won't be so lazy if you fill your plate. Go join another organization to essentially end up putting off. It'll build the resume also.
28. I won't skip class.
Remember earlier how we established participation grades are a real thing? It's hard to participate if you are still in bed.
29. I won't skip class anymore.
Okay, once is fine. But no more!
30. I won't go to class looking like a hobo.
You wonder why you are single. This is why. Wake up 10 minutes earlier and look like a person.
31. I won't start my semester project during finals week.
It's called semester project, not finals week disaster.
32. I won't sleep till noon on the weekends.
Stop being a bum. Go volunteer at the old people place or something.
33. I will not stay up till 2 a.m. scrolling from one social media to the next.
You do this every night, and you regret it every morning.
34. I won't use the rain as a 'valid' excuse to skip class.
They make umbrellas for a reason. Go. To. Class.
35. I am gonna start meal prepping.
Frozen foods don't count as decent meals. This will also help you stop eating out.
36. I won't follow through with another Tinder date.
It was fun until you actually planned a date. This is why you should've deleted it, for good.
37. I won't wait till mid-semester to purchase the books.
They give you the list before the semester for a reason. Stop taking pictures of your neighbor's book and just buy it.
38. I won't wait till the week before finals to send the nice emails to my teachers.
It may have worked so far, but one day they aren't gonna buy the last minute sucking up. At least start a few weeks in advance.
39. I won't just "wing it" again....
One day 'just winging it' is gonna come back and bite you in the ass. And I see that day happening soon.
40. I won't settle with "C's get degrees."
If you would follow through with these promises you could be saying "A's get degrees."
41. I'll mean it when I say "one more episode."
"One more episode" doesn't translate to "one more season" in any language. But good try.
Chances are you've made yourself some if not all of these promises, yet again, and chances are you are already starting to slip. That lasted maybe two weeks?
Better luck next semester.....
