My fiancé and I have been in a relationship for about two years now and our relationship, in my opinion, is a healthy and strong one because of how we treat each other. I’ve always been strong willed, I know exactly what I want and will work to achieve it. As such, I’ve had a clear list in my head of what my partner would need to do in order for me to trust that I could build my life with them. Below are my top 40 things that my partner and I do in order to keep our relationship healthy and strong. Obviously we aren’t perfect, people fuck up, but generally speaking, if your partner does these things then they definitely love you and you are in a healthy and good relationship.
- Listens when you speak
- Doesn’t talk over you
- Remembers the things you say
- Remembers the things you like
- Respects your opinions even when they are different then theirs
- Attempts to understand where you am coming from
- Knows that the things you say when your hangry don’t represent things you actually believe
- Gives you space when upset so that you both can work out your own feelings before attacking each other
- Allows both of you to work out the things that upset you both
- Makes sure one of you isn’t playing the martyr so you don’t harbor resentment
- Is okay with compromise and willing to work towards it
- Understands your humor and you understand theirs
- Has their own opinions
- Enjoys telling you their thoughts
- Wants to tell you about their day so that you can be apart of it even when you weren’t there
- Doesn’t purposely deceive you
- Trusts what you say
- You can trust what they say
- Allows you space to be an individual
- Respects your likes and dislikes even when different than theirs
- Actively tries to engage in your interests
- Doesn’t put down your hobbies
- Helps you reach your goals
- Acts as your voice of reason but doesn’t seek to doubt your abilities or put you down
- Willing to watch what you want to watch when it’s your turn to choose
- Willing to try your ideas with you
- Knows what your limits are (Social, sexual, familial ect.)
- Appreciates your talents and makes sure you know it
- Helps to build your self esteem
- Is willing to comfort you when it’s needed
- Enjoys spending time with you
- Wants to experience new things with you
- Waits to watch the shows you both are watching until you can watch it with them (or at least doesn’t spoil the episodes for you)
- Doesn’t allow others to put you down either (even if it’s other members of their or your family with in reason)
- Doesn’t make you feel like you need to prove yourself or your love to them
- Makes sure you feel loved (simple things that telling you they love you, holding your hand in public, not hiding the relationship)
- Tries to make you smile
- Reminds you of your strengths and helps with your weakness (ex: Knowing you are fantastic at emails but not at calling people so they help with calling doctors because calling people doesn’t challenge them)
- Remembers you in their daily lives (ex: doesn’t spend all the savings on something that only benefits them or decide without your input to take a job across the country)
- Looks at you as if you are the most amazing thing they’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing
