4 Ways To Stay Super Cool In Contemporary Society

4 Ways To Stay Super Cool In Contemporary Society

If you're here that means you don't trust yourself in "cool knowledge." That's fine, trust me.
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So, you've been out of school for a while and your full-time job is taking up all your time. One day, on the three-hour long train journey to work, you catch yourself in the mirror.

Who is standing there? Is it Mr. Miller in his brown vest, caterpillar eyebrows and tucked-in trousers pulled up to his bellybutton? Or, is it Mr. Coolzone, the man with glo-sticks for eyebrows and a verbose knowledge of fun subjects that he's keen to share?

If you're seeing Mr. Miller in the mirror right now and wish you didn't, then read on. If you're seeing Mr. Miller and thinking you look great, then you are already far more emotionally mature than this article and will gain just as little as anybody else by reading it.

1. The Visual Aspect

As the Cheetos creature so wistfully explained, "it's not easy being cheesy." In this scenario we're going to imagine that he said "cool" instead of "cheesy," and then tell him that actually, it is easy to be cool. The process of becoming, or remaining cool remains largely the same no matter what age of fashion you might find yourself in, either temporally or geographically.

Look at what is around you. Listen to yourself closely and with care until the mental alarm bells ring the songs of, "wow that is really cool!" Once that happens, just copy exactly what it is you've just looked at. It doesn't matter what it is, just emulate its visual character. If it's somebody on the TV then just search for the exact clothes they're wearing online and buy them.

If it's a piece of bark, go to a charity shop and find some brown, bark-like clothing. If it's a painting, then paint yourself. If you think it's cool, then there's a minute chance somebody else will and then they'll think you're cool and try to look like you, which means they'll be trying to look like a human that's trying to look like a piece of bark, which is cool, right?

2. The Zany Aspect

This is crucial to standing out as an individual, which is what somebody who's trying to be an individual alongside all the other supposed individuals really wants to be able to do, like you. So, how do you include this zany aspect of character into your new style? Just take the first thing that pops into your head and wear just one thing that resembles it.

In most cases, the mind's random first choice will be radically different from the thing you thought was really cool, to begin with. This means that when you borrow an element of it for your look, contrast will be formed and thus, brightness and a popping effect will occur. To increase the weight of this aspect, create the contrast in an unorthodox area of your body, like your elbow, the back of your knee, or your groin.

3. The Conversation Aspect

So, you're walking through the park wearing clothes that resemble the bark of a willow tree with Windows XP stickers on the backs of your knees, which succeed in creating a wildly radical contrast in your overall, wicked style. Everything's going well, you're feeling good and what's this?

A member of your preferred sex has noticed you and is closing in rapidly, that's what. S/He struts up to you, swinging her/is hips like the pendulum of a grandfather's clock and wailing so loudly that it hurts. You fall to the floor, trying to drown out the sound by clutching your poor ears, but it rises until the beautiful individual is standing over you. S/He says, "hey, wanna get some coffee sometimes?"

You stand up, brush the dirt off your bark, slick back your hair and say, "I haven't had a day off work in three years."

S/He laughs and says, "you're funny," as she catches a glimpse of the Windows XP sticker on the back of your knee and bites her/is lip.

In your mind, you smile, grow old and have six children together, all albino (except Thomas), but in reality, you start naming countries in alphabetical order. Not surprisingly, s/he's already turned to leave by the time you've reached the letter "H".

What do you think happened there? Obviously, your conversation was weak. You didn't have any opinions. There were no references to pop culture. Heck, you didn't even answer the question that began the conversation.

Start brushing up on topics that will interest other people, as well as yourself. That way you don't have to resort to meditative, anxiety-curing country naming, however impressive it may be.

4. The Response Aspect

Really, this is what all the other aspects have been doing. Coolness, lameness, sillyness and anythingness are all responses to your surroundings, whether it be visually, contrastingly, or conversationally.

The image, style and expression of yourself in a world amongst others is something that can be consciously manipulated in the hope to have an intended impact on the surrounding landscape of minds, as opposed to an unintentional noodle-like pile of random movements that may or may not result in an outcome you desire.

Though, perhaps even the latter is beyond our capabilities and something entirely different is happening in this apparently tubular experience.

Are you now Mr/Mrs Coolzone? Let me know how these steps did for you below!

Cover Image Credit: menprovement

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10 Abnormally Normal Things About College

Some stuff just doesn't fly in the real world.
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College is a weird, weird place. For whatever reason, the young adults who are supposed to be cultivating their minds with all of the worldly knowledge available to them, seem to get away with quite a bit using the justification "it's college." Even the best students live abnormally while on the alien planet that is a university. So, while to us college students it may just seem like another day, here are ten things that are only normal in college.

1. Straight up theft.

In the future, if I walk into my forty-something-year-old neighbor's home and see a collection of stolen signs, stuff from the local restaurant, and property from the construction site down the road, I would definitely be concerned about the character of my neighbor. However, in college, people proudly display campus signs, traffic cones, or dining hall napkin dispensers that they have impressively commandeered - it's a cheap decoration and a great conversation starter.

2. All-nighters.

Maybe with the exception of parents of little babies, very few people willingly stay up for close to 24 hours on end. In the real world, if a friend came to you and said that they literally did not sleep the previous night, it's completely logical to be worried. On the other hand, when a friend in college says that he was up all night you laugh a little, give him an understanding pat on the back, and walk with him to the coffee line.

3. Atrocious eating habits.

Sometimes you don't have time to eat. Sometimes you order pizza at 2 in the morning. Sometimes you eat three dinners. Sometimes you diet. All I can say, is thank goodness that our metabolisms are decently high at this age.

4. Breaking and entering.

In high school, you hopefully knew everyone who entered your home. After college, hopefully, that's still the case. However, when you live in the middle of thousands of bored college students, people knock at your door, walk into parties, cut through your yard, and stop by without invitation or hesitation. It keeps life fun, but still not normal.

5. Calling mom when stuff goes down.

I really doubt a time will ever come that I don't need to call my mom for guidance on how to do something. But, hopefully the frequency of those calls with go down a little bit post-graduation. Maybe after four years of doing it on my own, I'll know how to fill out government forms, cook real dinners, and get stains out. But for now, I'm going to keep calling while I still can without seeming totally pathetic.

6. Being intoxicated at weird times.

Drunk at noon on a Friday is the quintessence of an alcoholic at any time - unless it's college. Not that this is necessarily a good thing, and it certainly doesn't apply to everyone, but there aren't many other places where people would instantly assume someone is intoxicated if they're acting even a little weird. I've even seen people drink in the library....

7. The messed up dating scene.



There are people who meet the love of their life at college and live happily ever after. They are people who meet the supposed love of their life at college and never talk to them again after Sunday. There are people who use Tinder. Hormones are high, freedom is bountiful, and football players are cute - what else needs to be said?

8. A warped sense of time.

The career I'm pursuing will require me to be at work by 7 am, five days a week. I am fully aware of this. Now, will I enroll in an 8 am next semester? Absolutely not - I'm not a demon. In college, nights often start at 10 p.m., dinners are eaten at 4, and mornings can begin anywhere from 8 to 2. We don't get that whole 9-5 idea.

9. Costumes... for no apparent reason.

High schoolers have a dress code. Adults have dignity. College students have fun. Here, people will wear a corn costume to get on ESPN, a fanny pack to get into a fraternity, or a tutu to match a theme party. Is it actually a weird thing, though? No one even blinks an eye.

10. Insanely close friends.

Name another point in your life when you live with your friends, study with your friends, drive with your friends, eat with your friends, go out with your friends, and even grocery shop with your friends. I'll wait. At college, it's easy for friends to seem like family because you're with them constantly. Love it or hate it, it's weird about college.

So, enjoy this weirdness while you can - it won't last forever!


ALSO SEE:

Uncensored Roommate Confessions!

Cover Image Credit: Matthew Kupfer

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If I Could Dream A Perfect Day, This Is What I'd Do

An inside look at what my dream day would be like.

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Have you ever just had such a crappy day that you find yourself lying in bed daydreaming about what your perfect day would be like? No limitations, no pain, no frustrations. Just whatever you want.

Well, I have. Here is a look at what my perfect day would contain.

1. Teleportation

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I know, I know. The first thing on my list is something that could absolutely never happen, at least in my lifetime. But hear me out.

I want to travel, but any form of transportation makes me sick. Cars, boats, planes, trains, you name it I end getting sick. So if I could teleport than I wouldn't have to deal with it. Plus I wouldn't have to pay for gas or airfare. It's a win-win.

2. My Mom

Kayla Resler

It wouldn't be a perfect day if my mom wasn't along for the ride. Who else would I have fun with and then rub it in my brothers face later?

Just kidding, he would come too.

3. Food

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It would not be a prefect day if it didn't involve food. And if it was free it would be even better.

4. London

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I have been dying to go back to London, and if it was my perfect day I would definitely take a trip over the pond!

5. Meet the Stars

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If it was going to be my perfect day, I would meet some celebrities. Let me scream, and jump, and totally fangirl in front of Emma Watson, Tom Hiddleston, Chris Hemsworth, Zac Efron, and Robert Downey Jr. just to name a few.

6. Meet Fictional Characters

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Earlier I said no limitations, so that means I get to meet fictional characters such as the Mikaelson family, the Golden Trio, Sirius Black, the Avengers, the Joker (he wouldn't kill me), and Hannibal Lecter (he also wouldn't kill me) to name a few.

7. Disney World

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Bring on the magic! I want to go to Disney World and not have to wait in any lines. That would be a perfect day.

8. Learn a New Language

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If I could learn how to speak French or German in a day that would be amazing.

9. Queen Concert

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If I could close out the day by traveling back in time to see a Queen concert with Freddie Mercury back on stage that would be the perfect end to the perfect day.

10. Happiness

Public domain

If everyone that I love was completely happy, with no stresses holding them down, for just one day that would definitely be a part of my perfect day.

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