Every person deals with divorce differently. Maybe you don’t even remember a time your parents were together, or maybe you’re still getting used to the idea of them being apart. Either way, you grew up learning to love in a different way than most people: a way that makes you feel love deeply and more intimately. Here are the four ways being a child of divorce make you love harder:

1. Resilience

You’re not somebody who is going to run at the first sign of trouble. You understand that sometimes things might not work out, but you won’t turn your back until you have fought with all your might to make things work. You are strong, and not willing to give up.

2. Fear of Loss

Although with fear usually comes a negative connotation; your fear of loss is a good thing. You are driven to do whatever it takes not to lose the person you’ve invested so much in. You’re incredibly loyal, and you will do anything to keep your loved ones safe, happy, and healthy.

3. Knowing What You Want

Learning about the mistakes your parents made in their relationship makes you realize what your needs and wants are in your current and future relationships, too. You understand what your “deal-breakers” are, and you recognize your needs and how they must be met. You’re upfront and honest with the people you date, and you expect the same of them.

4. Proceeding with Caution

You’re not one for “summer flings,” or relationships without titles. This being said, you are incredibly cautious about who you choose to be your person. You don’t let just anybody into your life: they have to prove their worth to you, and it may take a while for you to truly trust them.

Not every sad story has an unhappy ending. Through all of this, you learned more about what it means to love, and most of all, you learned about you.