Do cheap or free solutions to everyday obstacles make you giddy as Gilderoy Lockhart looking in a mirror? Do you ever wonder why life is so goddamn difficult for no reason? Do you ever insist that there must be Another Way? Congratulations -- there is another way! Here are four reasons Craigslist is the answer to some of life's problems.
1. The job section.
No lie, I found most of my jobs on Craigslist. Nowhere else will you find potential employers more desperate for labor. Search only for "food/beverage/hospitality" jobs, and you’ll find pages upon pages teeming with opportunities to serve the public with a thin, half-convincing smile on your face. Hey, it’s money!
Craigslist has more than just customer service jobs, though. This magical, wondrous website offers just about every job invented. I’m looking at the Boulder Craigslist “et cetera” job page, and here are some positions I’m seeing: Hypnotist’s assistant, focus group member, health coach, egg donor, egg donor with Jewish heritage, etc. So if you yearn to join a submarine crew in coastal North Carolina, I’m sure all you’d need to do is wander onto their Craigslist jobs page and click “all”.
2. Ridesharing.
Under the “community” section on Craigslist’s front page, there is a link called “rideshare” that will take you to a new world of transportation. For instance, say I’m in Cleveland and I want to get to Pittsburgh, but I have no ride. Well, I can take out my handy-dandy iPhone and use Craigslist to find a rideshare. I can look at posts made by other people driving from Cleveland to Pittsburgh -- people who are willing to take strange passengers who might be serial killers along with them.
Serial killer jokes aside, ridesharing is actually pretty safe. I’ve rideshared before and never felt like I was in danger. I once rideshared from Ashland, OR to San Francisco -- a 9+ hour drive, mind. My driver’s name was Andy, and except for all the used heroin needles in his front seat, I felt pretty safe.
Another joke, mom.
3. Couch surfing.
OK, you’ve survived your rideshare and successfully travelled to another city. Your driver has left you alone on a dark corner at 1:15 a.m., and after a long drive full of conversation, laughter, and music, the silence of this foreign neighborhood at night presses you on all sides. You begin to have an existential crisis. You also have to pee. Trouble is, you don’t know where you’re sleeping tonight, and you’re too poor for a motel.
Luckily, Craigslist is here for you again! Go to the “sublets/temporary” housing link, and search for someone who’s advertising a space on their couch, air mattress, or pile of bricks. This is called “couchsurfing,” and it can be awesome. I’ve been couchsurfing several times -- in fact, after heroin-needle Andy dropped me off in San Francisco, I spent the night with some squatters in an abandoned school building. Not joking this time. The squatters were lovely people.
4. The “free” section.
If you don’t like free shit then you sit on a throne of lies.
Sure, most of the time all you’re going to find in Craigslist’s “free” section are boxes of frayed wires, half-used cleaning supplies, fence scraps, and sod. But there are certainly diamonds in the rough: I’ve seen couches, mattresses, office supplies, kitchen appliances, musical instruments, and TVs advertised in this section. Or maybe you want sod. I don't know your life.
So, basically, Craigslist’s “free” section is like dumpster diving, only online.
Now, go forth, my children. Navigate society from the internet's seedy underbelly, and from there glimpse the great vista of the American Dream™. Let Craigslist be thy guide.
(Note: Though Craigslist is an amazing resource, trust your instincts when meeting with people from Craigslist ads! If a situation feels unsafe, get yourself out. Because if you get axe-murdered, you won't be able to use Craigslist anymore, and wouldn't that just be so sad?)
