Woah. You probably thought I was going to tell you NOT to use condoms or birth control. You're actually right.
With hookup culture at its peak this is a topic buzzing in every group chat, iMessage inbox, Facebook group, and Twitter thread: Sex.
Before things get a little hot and heavy (intended) I'll say one thing: you don't need contraception while you're celibate. These are my opinions, and I'm not in the business of judgement! But if you wanted a different perspective on sex, dating, and college then I got you!
Here's why you don't need them, and why waiting is a great alternative.
1. Waiting (in general) lowers your risk of STI's & unwanted pregnancies
We knew this from 6th grade sex ed; if nothing else, not having sex means not having an increased risk for things like herpes, gonorrhea, trich, the list goes on. These can be scary! You may think it's impossible, but consider the statistics: the American Sexual Health Association reports that 1 in 2 sexually active persons will contract an STI/STD by the age of 25. Keep it real! How many of us demand verified test results from a physician before we slide the tidy whities off?
Unplanned pregnancy isn't fun either! Put it in perspective: how likely is it this situation will result in harmonious co-parenting? Do you have the money to take care of a baby? (estimated $12,500 per year after the first year if you're doing bare minimums), Do you have the support system to help you out? Would you choose to abort instead? Things to think about.
2. Emotional damage can be detrimental and even traumatizing
Is it true that every sexual encounter will result in emotional turmoil? No. But is it very likely? Yes. Hookup culture puts an emphasis on the recklessness of sex with people we don't know too well [before we engage]. Regardless of gender, either partner can develop an attachment which is natural, normal, and expected. When you're having sex with people you may not know too well and you haven't communicated mutual desires in the relationship you risk negotiating some serious collateral ... with your mental health.You may want to fall in love and jump the broom while "bae" may just want to jump your bones and fall into bed. Embarrassment, regret, feeling empty/unwanted. These are all possible outcomes that don't feel good.
3. The sex could cloud your judgement (yikes)
Granted, this is something I learned in church but it can be applied anywhere and makes sense. Your love bug could be the most rude, disrespectful, unintelligent, childish, [insert any more turn offs] person on Earth but that'd be so difficult for you to see when you're caught up in the love nest. Some people find themselves in abusive or unhappy relationships because they're weighing the sexual satisfaction and not the overall person. Our sexual engagements can really keep us from seeing what is there, instead of what we want to see.
4. You should love YOU first
There is so much pressure to look a certain way, dress in certain clothes, and act in ways that align with pop culture. Sometimes we do these things because we want to and they make us happy. Sometimes we do it because we want to be loved, we may not love ourselves enough yet. Too many women (especially) use sex in order to fill a void. We can't keep searching for a person to fill a void when we have all the tools to fill it ourselves. You are radiant, loved, important, and beautiful (men and women!). You don't need anyone else to tell you that. Everyday people are pressured to have sex because they think it'll keep someone around. Hint: it won't. In the words of Rick Ross "how could you love me baby, first you gotta love yourself." And, he was right.
Like I said in the beginning, I am not here to judge! I wrote this article from a place of experience (for the most part). Don't get lost in the sauce. If you're going to have sex make sure you're doing it because YOU want to (don't fill voids!), use protection, and weigh possible outcomes (re: parenthood). Don't forget to get tested every three months and practice self care!
