Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe started off the season with a pretty great group of hot guys (Ben Z call me anytime), and a few real losers (I'm looking at you, Cupcake. No one wants to watch you sob on a mountain top for 20 minutes.)
Through all the ups and downs, Kaitlyn ended up pretty much where I expected her to be at the final three. Of course Nick is still around, Ben H is the token hot guy because ABC needs to keep its ratings up, and then there's that one guy who just makes you want to quit watching the entire show so you don't have to look at him anymore. Enter Shawn Booth. Shawn's presence has actually made me hate Kaitlyn solely because she likes him. And yes, we all know there's a good chance he wins (thanks Kaitlyn for your snapchat spoiler), but honestly I can't sit by idly and watch this happen without addressing all the things that make Shawn just an utterly awful human.
1. His emotions.
Shawn lives on this emotional roller coaster that constantly takes him from cocky over-confidence to babbling insecurity. Half the time, Shawn is sure of the fact that Kaitlyn will choose him because she told him he was the one, in week two, when she was drunk. Newsflash: It didn't mean anything, Shawn. If I had a dollar for every time a drunk girl told some guy he was her soulmate only to wake up and be like "OMG I said WHAT?" I would probably have enough money to pay you to get you off my TV screen forever.
When Shawn isn't obsessing over Kaitlyn's drunk love confession, he's crying in the courtyard because, like, why is Kaitlyn dating other dudes? I don't know, Shawn, maybe because that's the entire premise of this show. "When I see Kaitlyn with other guys, it makes me question everything." What show did you think you were coming on, Shawn? I know you're a personal trainer aka not very educated but you had to know you were literally signing up to date the same girl as 24 other dudes.2. His job.
You're a personal trainer? Really? This job makes sense for Ben Z because he's a former athlete and also literally twice your size and could probably bench press you across the room. For you, Shawn, being a personal trainer means you really have no marketable skills and couldn't get a real job so you panicked on your application for the show and thought "Fitness is trendy. Say you work in fitness." Well I see right through you, Shawn. Get a real job.
3. Looking at Shawn actually makes me uncomfortable.
His face is about 80% nose and constantly oily. Like seriously, can the producers get this guy a face wipe? When Shawn does his interviews I can't even focus on what he's saying because I'm so distracted by the glares on his forehead. He's a bad Calvin Harris look-alike, and the Ryan Gosling comparisons are honestly insulting to Ryan Gosling because tbh he bears a stronger resemblance to Squidward.
4. He acts like a child.
I was honestly content to just sit back and tolerate Shawn as the D-class human he is before this whole “feud” with Nick Viall started. And by “feud,” I mean Shawn whining constantly because he just “doesn’t trust Nick,” and Nick paying absolutely no attention to the whole thing because, like, Shawn is irrelevant and Nick knows it’s more important to focus on Kaitlyn. But honestly, on a show full of grown adults, why is Shawn sitting here refusing to even call his competitor by his name? They should play “Free Fallin’” in the background of Shawn’s interviews because he is Tom PETTY. This is a concrete sign that Shawn is not emotionally mature enough to handle being on this show, much less being in a serious relationship. And beyond that, it’s insanely unattractive. Like, he is so insecure and threatened by Nick that the only way he can make himself feel better is by belittling Nick behind his back? Ew. Call me when you grow up, Shawn. Actually, don’t ever call me at all.
