Spring Break is over and, for a lot of us, it's not just the end of one week of vacation … it's the end of a whole year of preparation for a solid "Spring Break Body." While I'm far from being the poster child for good fitness, I spend time every day in the gym to ensure I have a long, healthy life rather than a collection of flab — so I know that a good workout routine takes a lot of time and effort. But something weird happened over Spring Break. I made a point to set aside a day over the break to see some of my friends from home — and one of them had gotten really, really fat. At first I felt bad for him but by the end of the day, I realized that he was the happiest I had ever seen him. I asked him what his deal was — I thought maybe he had a job opportunity or maybe a new girl or something. But what he told me was, "I'm just happy being fat."
And it honestly made sense to me. Think about it, they have …
1. More Time to Relax - a good workout ought to take at least an hour, but working out doesn't just require one hour out of the day. It takes the time to digest your last meal. It takes time to drive or walk to the gym and back. It takes time to make your post-workout meal. It takes time to cool down and shower up afterward. And that doesn't account for all of the time you waste trying to determine what the "best" time to go is. Overall, it's a big time commitment. But not for pudgy people. "I get my homework done and then I do whatever I want," my fat friend says. No hassle. He just does his thing. And being relaxed is actually a pretty important health benefit itself.
2. Better Enjoyment of Food - pudgy people are probably the most in touch with what is one of the best senses God has given us — taste. There're so many good things to taste out there, and pudgy people are down to try them all. My chubby friend was hawking back beers and Oreos like they were going out of style — meanwhile I was just worried that the tiny semblance of abs I had might disappear with a single calorie. But sticking to plain "protein" foods is just so boring. Not taking advantage of all the food Earth has to provide is just disrespectful to your taste buds.
3. No Competition - like I said, I am far from being the poster child for good fitness, but there are a ton of people in any gym, at any given time who are. And everyone knows that even though working out isn't supposed to be about competing with others, it really is all about competing with others. Increasing your max bench, for example, is not only about bettering yourself (let's be honest), it's about being able to say "I max this much." You know who doesn't have to worry about their max bench, though? Pudgy people. Pudgy people don't need to impress anyone. Nobody is going to come ask how much they bench only for them to have to answer a number that they think is too low. They're just minding their own pudgy business, no stress involved.
4. More to Love - to be honest, my chubby friend was never one of my favorite people back when he was in shape. But now that he's pudgy, everything he does is funny. Look at some of history's funniest public figures — Zach Galifianakis, Gabriel Iglesias, Seth Rogen, Kevin James, Chris Farley, John Belushi. What do they all have in common? They're pudgy. Maybe it's because their big chubby faces are comforting, maybe it's because they're warm (literally radiating out more body heat) or maybe it's because they remind us of Santa Claus. But whatever the reason may be, pudgy people just give off a great friendly vibe that the workout community doesn't have.
In honor of the end of Spring Break, I think it's time for people everywhere to embrace the pudgy lifestyle. They just may be the most well-off people ever.
