Many people would describe fuzzy socks as stress-relieving articles of clothing. Which is perfectly understandable, because when you put them on you are essentially swathing your feet in shrouds of heavenly perfection ... at first. Though this lovely quality undoubtedly provides short-term comfort, here is a list of reasons why, eventually, fuzzy socks cause more stress than they eliminate. (Which isn't to say that I'm going to stop wearing them—just friendly words of warning).
1. The Distracting Factor
Don't curl up on a couch with a mountain of homework while wearing fuzzy socks. For every minute you spend solving math problems or writing French flash cards, you'll spend three petting your feet, and eventually, you'll fall so far behind in class that forty pairs of fuzzy socks couldn't alleviate the pressure and worry you feel.
2. Breeding
But that doesn't mean you won't try to mellow out with forty pairs, and eventually, your sock drawer will turn into the home of a colony of fuzzy socks which never seems to stop multiplying -- a nightmare for your cash supply and for your
3. Dryer Hazard
Dryer's lint trap. The removal of fuzzy socks from the dryer often results in an even worse manifestation of this list's first reason. You won't be neglecting homework, but basic fire safety precautions. Who would want to deal with a lint trap when cradling a fresh load of warm, sweet-smelling, ridiculously soft ... hey ... wait a minute ...
4. The Roughening
These aren't your fuzzy socks! They're the same purple as yours are, and the pattern of blue stars is the same. But your fuzzy socks are actually ... fuzzy. These are flat and coarse and ... ugh. Not your socks.
Except they are your socks. They are the socks that got you a note from your professor, telling you to see her after class about your last French test. These are the socks whose many sets of twin brothers and sisters are upstairs in your bedroom, all downy and perfect and ready to be worn. These are the socks whose presence has set off your smoke detectors more than once because your dryer couldn't handle their shedding. These are your socks. And they may have made you happy for a short time, but they've caused nothing but failure and heartache and destruction and disappointment. Which is why you must learn to deal with them in moderation and to relieve stress in other, more healthy ways.
