Four Reasons a Black Woman is Angry

Four Reasons a Black Woman is Angry

We can't just be angry for nothing.
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The angry black woman trope has been used to stereotype the oppression black women face on the daily and invalidate their anger. It makes their anger seem ridiculous and over dramatic; what it really does is make their voices unheard. Who wants to listen to someone who sounds illogical? Here are some reasons why black women are so angry:

  1. We are watching our men die or go to jail.
  2. We are not socially valued.
  3. We always have to choose between race or gender.
  4. Natural hair has become a social stigma.

1. How many black mothers have we seen mourn for their sons on TV? How many wives have we seen having to raise their family alone because their husbands and boyfriends are being taken away? Some of these women get some prime TV time, but we still cannot say enough. Some of these women don’t get any attention and have to mourn alone. None of these women are getting justice.

2. Black women are on one of the lowest rungs in the social totem pole. The darker a woman is, the lower her social standing is. Even among the black community, she is still mistreated, even though she is uplifting her fellow men. Dark women are not seen as beautiful as others, and are always pitted (and losing) against light skinned women. The whole concept of colorism is meant to destroy the esteem and confidence of the black women, most especially targeting the darker ones.

3. Women’s rights were not meant to include black women. During the '60s, black women had to choose which side to fight for because no one was fighting for both. Most chose civil rights, but black women are now fighting for their gender equality with not as much support. The most used statistic is that women make $0.79 to men’s $1, but in fact black women make as low as $0.64 to the dollar. In the work force, we are not as valued, and in the law we are overlooked too. There have been so many black women who have been killed by police brutality, but no one is crying for them. Yes, Sandra Bland (Rest in Power!) has a whole army of people fighting for her justice, but she is one of the only women who got so much coverage. There’s a whole crowd of women who died, but they have no one fighting for them. Of course, there are a huge number of men who have died and are ignored, but overall the attention for police brutality goes to the male victims.

4. There have been countless articles about women getting kicked out of school and not being hired for wearing their hair naturally. We are advised to relax (which means chemically and permanently straightening) our hair or wear a weave. How does that sound: change your hair that was determined biologically by genetics? It is ridiculous to force young girls to do this, denying them an education and also crippling their self-esteem. It is demeaning to grown women to ignore their skills, intelligence, hard work and potential because we have different hair that is not straight. One might as well be told to start bleaching their skin so we can be less black — oh wait, we already do that. To any black girl with incredibly kinky hair that’s reading this, rock it and own it, no matter the length, no matter the volume. You look beautiful with it.

Black women are some of the strongest people out there because the world is bent on taking us down. We oppressed on almost all the social, economic and legal levels out there, but black women continue to persevere, just without a smile. If someone tells you you’re “just” an angry black woman, go ahead, unleash that anger and state why. You are more than entitled and deserving of that.

Cover Image Credit: wydlol

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The Time I Chose An Interracial Relationship Over My Own Family

Seeing a person for who they are on the inside and not what they look like on the outside is the happy and healthier way to live.

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Growing up I was raised to like and date people that were the same skin color as myself. I was allowed to have friends of different races but my interactions with them would be limited. What mattered most to the majority of my family members was that I should never even think about dating a guy of a different race, especially if he was black. I was told on multiple occasions that my family would rather me date another female than an African American.

Even though I knew very well what my family's opinions were about interracial dating, I could not stop myself from growing up to only see people for what they were on the inside. I always chose to look past someone's skin color so that I could get to know them on a personal level. This is why, when I was in high school, I ended up falling in love with a guy who was African American.

I knew when I said yes to dating him that there would be a chaotic and dramatic turmoil ahead. However, being with him seemed to outweigh any negativity that could come my way. Up until that moment, no guy had ever made me laugh harder, feel more appreciated, and enjoy life more than he did. Since I knew my family would disagree with my decision to be with him, I chose to keep it a secret for as long as I could. Unfortunately, we lived in a small town and word traveled fast.

One by one my family began to discover my secret. I had prepared myself for negative comments and very opinionated disagreements. Little did I know, it would be a lot worse than a few harsh words thrown my way. Many of my family members chose to disown me and pretend as if I did not exist. Others would constantly remind me how disappointed they were in me and how embarrassing it was to call my family. I was told that because of my decision to date someone of a different skin color, I would not amount to anything and I would go to hell (it is a common misconception that interracial dating is a sin).

I ignored every single one of my "family members" and continued on living my fulfilling life. One year passed by, then a second and before I knew it, we had been together for five years. Unfortunately, we did decide to go our separate ways in 2017. I took pride in the fact that our break up had nothing to do with the cold looks we received in public when we were together or the hateful comments that many people had made towards us throughout the years.

Now, months later, I still have no regret in spending the last five years of my life with him. Not only have I made amazing memories and cherished several thousand moments, but I have learned more than I ever could have had I chosen to say no to him. I learned to love a human being for who they are as a person, instead of what they look like. I learned who my true family was and who loved me regardless of who I chose to be with. Most importantly, I, along with many others, helped make the world a little more accepting and I chose to love people of all races, ethnicities, religions, and backgrounds.

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Life After Undergrad?

A glimpse of what you can expect upon receiving an undergraduate college degree and entering the real world.

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For most, graduating college can be a very bittersweet experience. On one hand, you are elated to leave and step into the real world. This means no more 8 a.m classes and late night homework. On the other hand, you have to become an adult and face real-world problems. This means waking up early for work and paying bills on time. Graduating college should be the end goal for many, however numerous students come up short for one reason or another. The important thing to remember is that attending college is a privilege and graduating from college is an accomplishment. Life after college can be an overwhelming thought because it is such a big leap, however with the correct tools you learned in college and the right connections, you will be destined for greatness.

Once you received your diploma and shook the President of the University's hand, you are now officially ready for the real world. This can create huge anxiety as you now have to look for a job to start supporting yourself. Your parents are phasing away from giving financial help, therefore the pressure is on you to hold your own. This may not be such a bad thing. College should have taught you how to interact with people, build character, network and maintain lifelong relationships. These lessons are critical reminders for yourself when looking for your career.

Life after undergrad is not easy by any means, but there is a sense of gratification knowing you do not have to spend most of your day doing classwork and homework. Once you get your feet in the door for your particular field, it should get easier from there. You now feel like an adult. You are making money. You do not have to call mommy and daddy for anything. You begin to see your hard work pay off.

Do not expect anything to be handed to you. Whether you find a career out the gate or not, nothing will come easy. As you know the economy is not doing so well, therefore jobs are hesitant to hire even with a bachelor's degree. It can become tiresome and frustrating. Do not let this discourage you because competition will always be there. Instead, try finding ways to cope by finding time for yourself, treating yourself and ultimately taking care of yourself. The real world can be very harsh, and business is business. Therefore you have to be mentally tough.

Continue to set short and long-term goals. Even if you did not find your career yet, the small things count. Simply reaching out to people and making appearances here and there for whatever it may be can go a long way when trying to find your niche. Do not forget that the world does not owe you anything. This mindset will keep you honest, humble and hungry. After all, it is all apart of being successful.

Finally, have fun and enjoy the struggle. Instead of seeing life at college to be a scary thing, view it as another exciting chapter in your life. I am sure college life had its ups and downs. Well, the same applies to the adult life. Everything is what you make of it. So, good luck and God Speed to all the 2018 college graduates. Your time is now!

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