Go. Find the person. Any person in the world.
The one you love the most. The one you want to love the most. The one you desperately hate the most. The one you wish you didn’t hate the most. That girl with the distinct ombré hair and a vicarious, upbeat personality living down your hall. That boy with the not-so-attractive smile but with a beautiful heart living in the rival dorm next door. There’s always someone out there.
Go up to them.
Tell them that it won’t take more than four minutes out of their busy schedule.
Four minutes is all you need. Four minutes is all we need.
Go find a place. Any place in the world.
Let them find their own location, their own haven of inner-peace.
It could be downstairs in your dorm’s basement where silence occupies 99% of the eerie space and the other 1% is filled by the subtle rumble of washers and dryers. It could be inside their room, where cheap posters of ambiguous artworks and unforgettable concerts adorn the walls and illuminating holiday string lights dangle nervously from the ceilings by the strength of unreliable blue tape. It could be anywhere they desire.
Let it be silent enough to hear the essence of their breath emit from their body. Enough to hear the soft whispers of California winds become the loudest speakers in the dorm. Enough to feel their heartbeat pulse throughout your proximity as it rushes through your goosebumps.
Let it be isolated enough to know that interruptions will be non-existent. To know that you will be living for four minutes on an island thousands of miles away from civilization. To know that the two of you are the only individuals in this world that matter, that exist, that live.
Be anxious, be antsy, be curious, be apprehensive, be contemplative, be optimistic, be you.
Sit down. Sit up. Stand up. Stand around. Get comfortable. Get ready.
Begin.
One minute in. You are feeling hesitant. Both of you are. Don’t worry, this is perfectly normal. Kelly Clarkson prepared you all these years to stare into those hazel eyes. Hues of warm cappuccino, shimmering Atlantic waves, piercing emerald luster, and the colors of slow-running honey. Awkwardness surrounds your body. Notions of “what the hell am I doing” invade your thoughts as you think of plans for later tonight while you try to distract yourself from the gaze that is staring right back at you. You smirk. You try to laugh. Hold it in. Hold it in.
Two minutes in. You are getting adjusted to the awkwardness. You are concentrating on their eyes as they reach for your emotions. You try to shy away from this unwanted attack, but ultimately you let them in. You start to wonder. Wondering what they could be thinking about, what they are currently feeling as the race is almost halfway over, what they are not feeling as the finish line is in reach. Thoughts start to stream inside your brain, creating rivers of doubt, streams of curiosity, lakes of smiles, and ultimately oceans of returned smiles.
Three minutes in. Fascinated. Three minutes of uninterrupted contact slowly starts to establish a connection, an emotional tie that was nonexistent just moments ago. How did this happen? Was it the slight breeze from unfiltered windows allowing the duo to pull closer together for warmth? Was it the details – his subtle scar on his chin that complements the rose tones of his lips, her eyelashes flickering with disarray as she blinks under pressure? You have no idea, but you are captivated, mesmerized by placing yourself in the center of the eyes right across from you. You are lost in a land of wonders, talents, innate beauty. You never expected this…get out! Get out!
Four minutes in. You can’t escape. You try to look away, but cannot. You are too lost for maps, too lost for a compass to guide you away. Before this, you were strangers, acquaintances that had no reason to come together and stare into each other’s eyes for the longest four minutes of your life. This isn’t an experiment, this a moment shared by two people out of seven billion hearts out in this world that have come together for multiple reasons but have concluded with one result: love. Love for strengthened friendships that will become everlasting. Love for broken hearts that will be mended from silent words of comfort. Love for outpouring hearts that will be even stronger now from just four moments of intimacy.
Thank you. You wipe tears of unexpected joy away, drips of sweat that has glided down your chin and you replace them with a smile of appreciation, smiles of personal reflection that has transformed your day, your hour, your four minutes.
Thank you.
For curiosity, here is a beautiful video showcasing six pairs of people participating in the 4-Minute Stare.
