Having depression isn’t something easy to deal with. I hid mine for years and finally came out almost a year ago. Having family and friends that are so great is really the only reason I am at a place of peace with myself. After being in such a dark place for so long, saying I’m at peace is a big deal. Here is a list of four things I think are really important for helping loved ones with depression.
1. Don’t tiptoe around me…
Yes, I am fully aware that certain things will frustrate me sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I want you to treat me any differently. Tiptoeing around me will do nothing but piss me off. I know that I have a lot going on. You don’t have to remind me by treating me like I have something wrong with me. I understand maybe sugar coating things sometimes, but please, don’t lie to me to protect my feelings. Being treated differently than everyone else actually makes me feel a lot worse about myself
2. Respect my privacy.
Please keep my secrets. I know if I say something that may be harmful then you have to tell someone, but if we are just having a normal conversation keep it between us. Trusting people isn’t a very easy thing, at least for me, so if I trust you don’t betray that trust. Having someone trust worthy is really important! When I have bad days I need to be able to call someone and go on and on so that way I don’t have to hold it in!
3. Don’t ask if I’m OK 37,000 times.
So I really appreciate you caring about me, it absolutely means the world to me, but please do not continuously ask if I am OK. I understand that you care about me and you just want to make sure I’m alright but asking me thousands of times just makes whatever is going on worse. If I want to talk about it, I will, but until then please don’t push me away for seeming closed. It’s not that I’m mad or anything like that, odds are I’m just not ready to talk about it yet… but when I am please be there for me.
4. Be there for me.
This is one of the most important things. When I do feel like talking please be there to listen. Holding in things is what got me to the dark place I was in. Having someone to talk to when things gets hard is extremely important. It’s to love on me and tell me everything will be OK, I need that sometimes. Sometimes being there for me means sitting for hours and letting me vent. Other times, being there may just mean watching a movie to help take my mind of things. No matter what the situation, just know how much I appreciate you being there!
Thanks to my amazing friends, family, and our amazing God, I am at a great place in life. Without all the great people in my life there is no telling where I would be. I know this list may almost sound like I'm a being rude, but they are things that need to be known but most people don't want to bring up.
For those who have depression don't be afraid to open up to those who love you because you never know how much it may help.
