After applying and applying over and over again, you finally get contacted for a summer position and secure that interview. That interview for the internship that is a direct line to your future and is the perfect way to meet people who will set you ahead in life. What now?
We all get nervous for interviews, especially if we are interviewing with a panel of soul-sucking, cyborg-esque, cookie cutter corporates like the one pictured above. I don't know, thank you, Google Images?
1. Alright, time to pick an outfit.
2. I will be sophisticated and professional, sharp as a tack.
3. "'Cause every girl is crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man."
4. Does a suit reek of desperation or does it hide the stench of eagerness?
5. Maybe they'll be so distracted by how awesome I look they won't notice the pit stains.
6. Okay, my pit stains have pit stains.
7. I need to start applying for jobs that require sweatpants for the interview.
8. I wonder who will be interviewing me.
9. What if they have a weird laugh or have a super hairy mole or something distracting?
10. What if they pronounce a word really wrong and I just lose my sh*t?
11. What if I pronounce a word really wrong and they lose their sh*t?
12. A suit it is.
13. INTERVIEW DAY!
14. I will vomit everywhere.
15. What if I'm late?
16. It'll be fine.
17. Interview is at 10:15, I'll stroll in around 6 in the morning. That should give me plenty of time. Totally casual.
18. I'll stroll in, shoot them with a "Sup?"... Maybe throw in a head nod.
19. I really might vomit.
20. Or cry.
21. What if I start crying in this interview?
22. What if I start vomiting and crying during this interview?
23. Maybe they'll pity me and give me the job on the spot.
24. There is no situation in which that would happen and I would still get the job.
25. I think I should probably not stress myself out more.
26. It'll be fine.
27. *Pictures that meme of the dog sitting in the burning house saying "This is fine."*
28. I am a champion.
29. Seriously, they won't know what hit them.
30. This will be the single best interview in the history of interviews.
31. I will leave them in tears.
32. One of them will likely fall in love with me.
33. I will have to fight them off because I will immediately be offered the job of Regional Manager and that just wouldn't be professional to date my inferiors.
34. What could go wrong?
35. I genuinely don't know how I feel about this interview because now I am picturing everything that could go astronomically wrong.
36. *Googles "How to nail an interview."*
37. I have never felt more prepared.
