37 Things Only People Who've Been To Eating Disorder Rehab Will Understand

37 Things Only People Who've Been To Eating Disorder Rehab Will Understand

Our humor may be dark, but life without our eating disorders sure is bright.
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I sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, hope that most people will never understand this article. Because to understand this, means to have gone through it, and I would never wish that upon everyone. However, for those of you who do understand this, we might as well laugh through the pain am I right? Laughter is the best medicine, and we deserve to heal.

1. Trying to get insurance to pay for treatment.

No, but really. Do they even actually pay for things with money? Or is their job to hand out bankruptcy and rocks as a helping hand?

2. When you start approaching your weight restoration goal.

I think they spiked my milkshake with Ensure, or was it Boost this time?

3. When you start to realize your recovery body is hot.

ALWAYS.

4. When your new body comes with surprises.

Well, hello there! Who are you, and what are you doing on my body?

5. Your hair stops falling out.

You stop balding. Your hair starts growing. Soon enough you find yourself with luscious locks and you can't help but show 'em off.

6. When your eating disorder wants you to relapse but you use your new coping skills instead.

Deep breathing. In one two three four. Now out one two three four.

7. Getting your hunger queues back.

Is it normal for me to be hungry every five seconds? Why am I just now discovering this magical thing called metabolism? MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE.

8. Conquering a fear food like...

I AIN'T SCARED OF YOU, FOOL. Yeah, I'm talking to you... stupid bagel.

9. Growing out of your sick clothes gives you an excuse to buy an entirely new wardrobe.

I guess weight restoration can have its perks...

10. When you stop looking like a prepubescent 12-year-old.

WHAT EVEN IS THIS THING???

11. When people start to notice your healthy glow.

Like, I'm not even kidding... your skin starts glowing again, or sometimes for the first time ever. But one thing's for sure, it's noticeable... and it sure is beautiful.

12. Night sweats.

Waking up in the middle of the night drenched. Did I just pee myself? Is it raining? Did someone spray me with a hose? Oh... nope. It's just me.

13. Getting mail.

Seriously, though. The sheer joy that comes with communication from the outside world is like a Holiday on steroids. Don't even get me started on what it's like when you get a package too.

14. Meal plan increases.


AGAIN?????

15. Meeting someone who actually understands you and your illogical brain.

Who knew you could meet your soul mate in rehab?

19. When you meet your treatment "mom."

You literally become their baby.

20. Trying not to make eye contact with the RCs while peeing.

21. Blood work when you're afraid of needles.

NOT AGAIN.

22. When staff turns into family.

There's something about when people flush the toilet for you, make your food, and watch you while you sleep... that just brings you close together. Oh and their unconditional love and support through your darkest days forms and indescribable bond.

23. Going to bed at 9 p.m.

Every single night. And the worst part is... you sleep like a baby. Therapy 24-7 therapy really takes a toll on yah.

24. Going on outings.

What's it gonna be this time? Michael's or Hobby Lobby? Either way, it's gonna be LIT!

25. Getting your first phone call.

I've never been so excited for a phone call. Even if it is only five minutes and the only one I'm allowed to call is my mom.

26. Moving up a level and getting more "privileges"

Yesssssss. That's exactly what I wanted. #REHABRIGHTS

27. When all the emotions you've bottled up for years start to surface.

What are these and why do they exist? This wasn't on the website!

28. Table games.

These are taken very, very, VERY seriously. When your whole day is centered around meal times, the games played are like the Olympics of rehab.

29. The inside jokes.

When you spend every waking minute together with the other patients, you get close. REALLLL close. And half the time our humor and jokes are dark... and only funny to us. But the laughter is healing, and the friendships are too.

30. The fact that you haven't shaved in six weeks.

This is not a drill, we really didn't shave. And IF by chance we were allowed to, we usually chose not to, because let me just tell you, electronic razors are a LIE. We'd rather be hairy and happy anyways.

31. When everyone learns how to knit, or crochet, and suddenly you're all grandmas.

We take our work very seriously. No one leaves rehab without learning how to make a blanket. Or if you're like me... no one leaves without screwing up a blanket and leaving with a ball of tangled yarn instead. Either way, you will crochet whether you know how to or not.

32. When a new client gets admitted and you can't contain your excitement.

Getting a new client is like the BEST DAY EVER! Finally, a new one. Come, tell us what the outside world has been like? What's your name? Life story? Social security number? We're about to get real close real fast.

33. When your sex drive starts to kick back in.

No, but seriously....

34. Realizing the other girls are the most beautiful humans you have ever met.

35. Discharge day be like...

HERE I COME, REAL WORLD, READY OR NOT!!!

36. Trying to blend back in with society.

I've totally got this. No one will suspect a thing. Me? Act normal? Not a problem. Normal is my middle name.

37. Finally seeing the beauty of life in everyone and everything.

Screw those eating disorder lies I believed for so long... this life, well, it's pretty dang gorgeous. I think I'd like to see more of it.
Cover Image Credit: Natalie Esarey

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3 Reasons Why Step Dads Are Super Dads

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I often hear a lot of people complaining about their step-parents and wondering why they think that they have any authority over them. Although I know that everyone has different situations, I will be the first to admit that I am beyond blessed to have a step dad. Yep, I said it. My life wouldn't be the same that it is not without him in it. Let me tell you why I think step dads are the greatest things since sliced bread.

1. They will do anything for you, literally.

My stepdad has done any and every thing for me. From when I was little until now. He was and still is my go-to. If I was hungry, he would get me food. If something was broken, he would fix it. If I wanted something, he would normally always find a way to get it. He didn't spoil me (just sometimes), but he would make sure that I was always taken care of.

SEE ALSO: The Thank You That Step-Parents Deserve

2. Life lessons.

Yup, the tough one. My stepdad has taught me things that I would have never figured out on my own. He has stood beside me through every mistake. He has been there to pick me up when I am down. My stepdad is like the book of knowledge: crazy hormonal teenage edition. Boy problems? He would probably make me feel better. He just always seemed to know what to say. I think that the most important lesson that I have learned from my stepdad is: to never give up. My stepdad has been through three cycles of leukemia. He is now in remission, yay!! But, I never heard him complain. I never heard him worry and I never saw him feeling sorry for himself. Through you, I found strength.

3. He loved me as his own.

The big one, the one that may seem impossible to some step parents. My stepdad is not actually my stepdad, but rather my dad. I will never have enough words to explain how grateful I am for this man, which is why I am attempting to write this right now. It takes a special kind of human to love another as if they are their own. There had never been times where I didn't think that my dad wouldn't be there for me. It was like I always knew he would be. He introduces me as his daughter, and he is my dad. I wouldn't have it any other way. You were able to show me what family is.

So, dad... thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for being awesome. Thanks for being strong. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for loving my mom. Thanks for giving me a wonderful little sister. Thanks for being someone that I can count on. Thanks for being my dad.

I love you!

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12 Tips Before Getting Your First Eyelash Extensions

I know you are in the middle of making your appointment, but here are a few pointers.

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If you are like me, you are super hesitant about trying new things in the beauty realm. I have finally tried lash extensions and can easily say I am obsessed. 10/10 recommend! If you are considering getting yours done, here are a few pointers!

1. Shower before your appointment.

This seems logical, but I wasn't aware. Luckily, I did shower before my appointment and wasn't shocked when my lash tech said, "don't get them wet for 24 hours."

2. Not all extensions are over the top. There are lash extensions for EVERYONE. 

I was super worried my lashes were going to be crazy over the top and I would look crazy during my runs. I asked my lash tech and she gave me a set of natural lashes. You get to pick the style of lashes you want! You can get them for fuller volume or just a natural look. There is a style of lashes for everyone!

3. Yes, they are SO much better than mascara and strip lashes.

I was already a firm hater of mascara, so lash extensions didn't have to work hard to win me over. As for strip lashes, I use to love putting them on for a night out or date night. It seemed as if a makeup look was not complete without them. Now, I wear less makeup on a night out because I feel as if my lashes really just pull the simplest of looks together.

4. Not all lash techs will charge you an arm and a leg.

One of my favorite nail salons offers lash extensions, STARTING at $100. Luckily, if you live near a college campus, the chances are high that a student is certified to do them and charges well under $100. I get mine done for $60 and leave happy with the work done every time.

5. You can go bare-faced and still feel flawless.

I have never woken up and felt so gorgeous right after stumbling out of bed. Lash extensions really give you an extra boost of confidence in feeling like you don't even want to bother with putting on makeup for the day.

6. You will need to wash your face in the sink, not the shower. 

You can get your lashes wet, but water coming forcefully out of a showerhead directly onto your lashes is not good for them. Makeup wipes and a careful face cleaning in the sink will take care of all your facial needs while avoiding causing damage to your lashes. I still use face masks when I have mine done!

7. Check the ingredients in your makeup removing products. 

To remove makeup, I LOVE using coconut oil. If you have lash extensions you should NOT use coconut oil. In fact, when your down to the last few lashes and are ready for them to come off, use coconut oil on a cotton ball and gently rub it along your lash line. Certain oils breakdown the glue used for lash extensions, so be aware of them before using them on your eye makeup.

8. Some people will truly believe they are your natural lashes. 

Here are some responses for their inquiries:

"I wish."

"Lash extensions, 10/10 recommend."

"I woke up like this."

9. You will need to sleep pretty. 

I have a tendency to sleep on my face. A tendency which I soon broke after getting lash extensions. You will have to learn to stay on your side or lay on your back so you don't rub all of your extensions out in the night.

WARNING: Be extra cautious on a night out where adult beverages were consumed. Ruining your lashes by drunkenly rubbing or sleeping on your face may cause heavy lash-loss.

10. They last about two to three weeks.

I have found that mine stay in pretty thick up until about 2.5 weeks. If you are careful, they could definitely still look flawless pushing week three.

11. They aren't damaging to your real lashes.

As long as you go to a licensed lash tech and aren't rubbing your face or pulling your lashes out, your natural lashes are safe and sound!

12. Once you get them done, you'll be going back for more.

It's not an addiction. And if it is, I don't think there is an issue to being addicted to feeling great about your lashes!

Making your lash appointment now? I figured.

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