I am a proud pet parent. People like me, well, we're different from people who just "have" pets. That's not to say that we love our pets more than others, but we see them differently than they do.

You see, pet parents see their pets as their children. They're spoiled rotten and babied 100 percent. They're always on our minds, and our day is empty without them. We're incredibly proud of their achievements, like rolling over and playing dead, and we'll tell you all about potty training them and how we got through the "puppy phase." We take them to all family gatherings and even wrap their presents on Christmas.

So when you start talking to one of us at the local park or grocery store, and we're telling you about Max or Sammy, we're telling you about our pets... not our human children.

Here's how you can tell if you're a pet parent:

1. You spend your money on them and not you.

It's not your fault that they make everything so cute, like that fluffy dog bed or that squeaky little mouse toy. They're irresistible, and are pet children really can't live without these things... right?

2. They have more outfits/accessories than you do, and some of their outfits match yours.

Who doesn't love being twinsies with their pets? Plus, it's an absolute must on Halloween.

3. You try to find people to babysit them while you're at work.

And if you do get someone to babysit, you know everything about them and trust that person entirely. But you still make multiple phone calls to check up on your pet.

4. The first thing you do when you get home is hug your pet child, and it takes you forever to say goodbye to them.

Those sad little eyes just kill you. You can't leave them. What will they do all day? What if they get depressed because you're not there? What if they don't forgive you for leaving them?

And these worries are why it takes you forever to go anywhere.

5. You check billions of reviews to make sure their food is safe and nutritious before buying it.

And then you give them their food before you get yours unless you both just share the same meal.

6. You have a hundred different nicknames for them.

You have to add "Mr." and "Mrs" first, and then the rest follows:

Shnuckums, Fluffy Butt, Twinkle Toes, Tough Guy, Muffins, Chomp-a-lot, Princess, Queenie, Bubbles, Snuggles...

And it just goes on and on.

7. Your bed time is their bed time.

And if you're away from them, it's harder to fall asleep. They also have their own bed, but they sleep in yours.

8. Every animal reminds you of your pet child.

Scratch that, everything reminds you of them so much that people get tired of hearing you talk about your pet.

9. You have photos of them in your wallet.

And you get professional photos done with them, like Christmas cards and senior portraits.

10. There are more selfies of your fur baby than of you on your Instagram.

And their IG account has more followers than yours.

11. You're more excited about giving them their new toy than they are playing with it.

I mean, this is number ones argument all over again.

You just can't walk past a squeaky mouse toy. They're too damn adorable.

12. You get more grossed out with human hair in your food than their hair.

Look, we know where our pets have been, but we have no idea what you do with your life.

13. They get more spa days than you do.

You love taking them to the groomers. Your pet children are all clean, and they smell amazing. You can never get them to smell that good from their baths at home.

14. When people compliment them, you feel like they're complimenting you.

Why thank you! I did know I was the cutest doggy in the park.

15. You'll stay home from work if they're feeling sick, and you have the vet on speed dial in case they do.

It's a legitimate emergency, okay?

16. Their birthday parties are way cooler than yours.

Also, all of your friends know when your fur baby's birthday is, and they bring him or her presents.

17. Your best friend is your pet's godparent.

And you even call that friend auntie or uncle when you pet is around.

18. You get jealous when they give someone else more attention.

We love that other people love our pet children... but you just can't help thinking "get your dirty paws off Mr. Muffins."

It's a territorial thing. We can't help it, and we're sorry.

19. Instead of "Baby on Board," you have a "(Your pet) on board" bumper sticker.

There are a ton of nut job drivers out there. I will put my pet in a car seat if I have to, okay?

20. Your pet child has to approve of your relationships.

The spice girls couldn't have said it better. Friendship lasts forever, buddy, and they were here first.

21. You know of all of the pet friendly places in your town.

Because family outings are the best.

22. You try to plan your weekend based on what would be fun for them.

Hiking, swimming, playing Pokémon Go...

You know, whatever, really.

23. You tell them you love them multiple times a day.

And you probably even give them kisses when you do.

24. You call your parents their grandparents.

Because your parents love your pet child just as much as you do.

25. Sometimes you'd rather spend the day with them than your friends.

I... uh... have some work I need to catch up on this weekend. Rain check?

26. You put them in time out when they're in trouble.

But quickly forgive them because you can't stay mad at them.

27. You're not embarrassed to have a conversation with them in public.

Talking to people sucks sometimes, but it's always a good convo with your fur pal.

28. You get really defensive when other pets pick on them.

You mess with them, you mess with us.

29. People tell you that your pet child looks like you.

And we love it.

30. You read tons of listicles like this one.

Because you're relieved to know that you're not the only one who feels this way.

Don't worry, we totally get you!