The Bachelor is trash. But I still watch it. I'm not above trash TV, you're not above trash TV. This is America where I'll watch as much trash TV as I want. Anyway, The Bachelor raises many questions that haven't been answered, and I want resolution.
1. Why is Nick here?
2. Why isn't Chad the Bachelor?
3. Does she know the difference between a shark and dolphin?
4. They just met him. Why are they so obsessed with him?
5. Isn't it just a little weird to share your boyfriend with 30 other women?
6. How do these beautiful people not find love without reality TV?
7. Isn't it weird to know your family is watching you partake in polyamory?
8. Do these contestants judge the family on "Sister Wives?"
9. If so, do they know how hypocritical that is?
10. Is it embarrassing to be part of The Bachelor franchise four separate times?
11. What is it like to be known as the guy who can't find love even with the help of ABC?
12. Isn't it just a little weird that Nick is a decade older than most of these women?
13. Why is Rachel, a smart and beautiful lawyer, wasting her time on reality TV for Nick?
14. Actually, why are most of these women wasting their time?
15. Are the women actually excited to see Wisconsin?
16. Does anyone actually get excited about Wisconsin?
17. Why is Corinne, a grown woman, calling mac n cheese "cheese pasta?"
18. Why isn't anyone stopping Nick from going on another attempt of The Bachelor franchise?
19. Why is dolphin girl always sentenced to only making an appearance in the end credits?
20. Who is Whitney?
21. Did the producers just have a bouncy castle on hand?
22. Can Corinne and Chad please be best friends?
23. Wouldn't it have been easier for Liz to ask her friends for Nick's number instead of going through the trouble that is this show?
24. Why is Nick more obsessed with making bad decisions than skinny ties?
25. How much gas is wasted using separate limo rides for every contestant than if they just had a few people every trip?
26. Do the contestants have roommates?
27. How many rooms are even in this house?
28. Do the contestants befriend each other?
29. But why are they so comfortable being Eskimo siblings with each other?
30. Will Nick make a fifth appearance in The Bachelor franchise?
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