It is no secret to the people around me that I'm transgender. I never tried to "go stealth," meaning that I kept my queerness a secret. Being transgender and queer is a big part of my identity and expression, and I don't try to keep it from anyone else. It's just part of feeling genuine for me. Being openly trans means I end up getting a lot of questions. Some are innocent questions and some are a little more awkward to answer because of their somewhat...invasive nature. A great place to start if you have questions for a transman would be this article from Huffington as it answers all the more common questions that transgender guys get. Here, I'd like to talk about the intricate aspects of trans life that you don't often hear about.

1. You think about gender a lot.

This might not be that much of a surprise, but when you have to some heavy thinking about your gender identity, gender pops up everywhere. I see gender roles, stereotypes, unnecessarily gendered objects, and hangups about gender everywhere. When I walk into a store and see the boy's and girl's sections, and the princesses and the robots, the parents telling their kids they can't have that toy because it "isn't a boy/girl toy," I notice. It's not something I can just walk past without thought. When you're trans, you hear every gendered word that people say, because you've had to steep in all this gender talk for so long.

2. Clothes shopping is hard.

I fit the male stereotype that I hate shopping for clothes, albeit for different reasons. A lot of clothes don't fit me well. I find myself in the boys' section more often than the mens' because I'm rather small, at only 5'4" (and I did have a couple years to grow my hips to a wider-than-average size). I've had to do a fair amount of tailoring and adjusting to make sure my blue jeans fit. I can say, though, without a doubt, that men's clothing sizes are way easier to understand than women's sizes. To all my transwoman sisters, I am so sorry. Godspeed.

I also have to think critically about my expression each morning. I am a fairly feminine guy, and I do enjoy the occasional flower print and eyeliner combination. However, this can be tricky. If I choose the wrong combination of clothing, I am way more likely to be misgendered as female. I've had to throw out a few of my favorite shirts because they were too easily mistaken as the clothes of a woman.

3. You need remind yourself that you're real and valid.

This one's more emotional than the others. I hear messages all the time like, "She's not a real boy," and, "He'll never be an actual man," "What a waste of pretty women," "These dykes are just trying to be straight." The list goes on.

As a trans man, me and my trans brothers, sisters, and nonbinary siblings need to constantly remind ourselves and each other that we are real men, real, women, and real non-binary people. We really are. Our identities are as authentic as those of cisgender people and we deserve to respected as such, by other people and by ourselves. This pride for ourselves and our identities is what keeps us strong.

I encourage you to think openly, kindly, and gently about the trans people around you. There are more of us than you might think!