For a while, I treated my life like I was in competition with the people around me. My friends, family, fellow students, they were all subject to this competition and race that was going on inside my head. I felt like I had to be the best and I had to be first in whatever I was doing.
My relationship had to be better than my friends, I had to be the first of my sisters to have kids, and my papers must be better than my fellow classmates. Let me tell you something friends, that was detrimental to my life. I became so wrapped up and focused on what I could do better and what I could do first that I forgot what life was really about.
Here are some things I learned through the slow process of taking myself out of the competition of life:
1. My relationship is the best to me because it is MINE.
Let me just say, I could go on all day long about how amazing my significant other is. My SO is the best thing that has happened to me in a very long time. I am constantly encouraged, loved, and pushed beyond what I thought my limits were.
My relationship is amazing and unique and MINE.
It can't be compared to other relationships because every person is different and that is reflected in relationships. It's a balance and you cannot allow yourself to compare your relationship to other people's because there are far too many differences between them.
Focus on doing what makes your relationship better to the people in it and stop worrying about how your relationship looks on social media
2. I don't have to be the first to do everything.
I have three sisters.
My older sister is 22, I'm 21, and my younger sisters are 17 and 16.
There is a lot of competition among us, as you could imagine. I have always wanted to be the first to get engaged, get married, and have kids. I don't know why.
It doesn't matter what order we reach these accomplishments in, just as long as we are all happy with our lives.
When I finally let go of the need to be first, I realized that we are all at completely different points in our lives and things are going to happen to us in the time that is best for us individually. If I were to rush into these milestones in life, I would end up miserable because I didn't think things through or prepare for those huge life decisions. So I have learned to take a step back and let things happen to me in their own time.
3. My work doesn't have to be the best, I just have to try my best.
There will always be someone better than me at whatever I'm doing in life.
Whether it's writing a paper/article or baking a cake. There are experts on paper writing and experts on cake baking. I am neither of those things. However, I try my best when I write a paper and when I bake a cake and that. IS. enough.
As long as I put forth my best effort and do everything that I can to make sure my job is done and done well, that's all I can do. I once had a piano teacher who told me "do your best and forget the rest." This is my new life motto because what more could you ask for? Put your best foot forward and then forget about the places where you weren't as good as others. You are not them, you are YOU and that is beautiful.
It is easy to put yourself into competitions and races with the people around you, but it's not healthy and it's definitely not fun. We have to realize that our lives are unique and they can't compare to others' lives because we all have our own experiences.
Focus on the path you have laid out before you and let others focus on theirs. After all, the prize waiting at the end of the race of life is death, so why would you want to get there first anyway?
