I once read a novel by Judy Ford, conveniently entitled Single. One line from this book has always stuck with me and it states, “Being single is not a condition to be cured. Being single is natural, as natural as being together.” In today’s world, being single is considered an awful, undesirable existence and, upon stating that you are single, others feel the need to console you with phrases such as, “You just haven’t found the right person yet.” While this sort of statement may be true, I still do not understand why being single is seen as a sealed fate of loneliness and owning 25 cats to fill some sort of void every person who is not in a relationship supposedly has. Upon entering my first semester of college, I decided it was time for me to finally experience being single for an extended period of time. All throughout high school, I always seemed to be the other half of a couple, so whenever I told people I wasn’t interested in being with anyone again for a long time, no one believed me. Choosing to be on my own has been both an empowering and very difficult experience that I believe everyone needs to go through at least once in their life, and here’s 3 reasons why.
1. You Find Who You Are
Although this is probably a task one can tackle while in a relationship, I have found that it is much easier to do so by yourself. Whenever you are part of a couple, you lose a bit of your own identity, whether you want to or not. You stop being referred to merely as an individual, and you and your significant other begin to be referred to as a singular unit. Upon spending much of your time together, you and your significant other often begin picking up each other’s lingo, body language, and sometimes even hobbies or interests. It’s very easy to lose yourself once you enter into a relationship, and often times parts of who you think you are might merely be due to the influence of your other half. Whenever you are forced to keep yourself company instead, you begin to dig deeper into your interests, your emotions, and your thoughts and can begin to find who you truly are without the influence of another.
2. Your Time Belongs Only To You
As I mentioned before, you can dig deeper into your interests whenever you are not part of a couple. You no longer have to spend your free time watching your significant other’s favorite Netflix series or having dinner with his/her family. While those things can certainly be enjoyable, if you take the time to be single for awhile, you can devote all of your time to the things that matter most to you. You can begin painting, join a club, take a trip, develop better friendships, study even harder for that class you hate, or sleep as much as you want. You no longer have anyone to get angry at you for not texting back quickly enough because you got too wrapped up in whatever it is you enjoy doing. No one can tell you that you spend too much time with your friends or ask you to cancel your plans to attend a family dinner.
3. You’re Able to Pour All of Your Love into Yourself
It’s important to love others and not to be selfish, but it is also really important to love yourself and belong to yourself first. Everyone always says that no one else can love you until you love yourself, and I whole heartedly believe this. If you’re not happy with you are, why should anyone else be? Whenever you are insecure it’s easy to attach to the first person who gives you attention and depend on them to fill the spot where your love for yourself should be. And while this makes things feel better for awhile, it usually forces the relationship to become incredibly toxic. Whenever you are single, it is the perfect opportunity to begin loving yourself. Without another individual constantly clouding up your mind, you’re able to think about your needs and wants and fulfill those things. You are able to isolate yourself and learn to be okay with being on your own. This is the empowering part of being single. Once you learn to love yourself, care for yourself, and be okay with being alone, no one has power over you.
Although I could probably list several more reasons why it’s so important to be single, I think you get the point. Some people say that these beliefs I have towards being single are merely because I’m bitter or because I’m afraid to love again. And sure, I’m terrified to open up to someone again, but I’m also eager to do so. I wholeheartedly believe it’s important to be single, but I’m also a hopeless romantic. The great thing about being on your own for awhile is that then, when you find someone worth sharing your greatness with, you’re so secure in yourself that the relationship has a power behind it like no other. By learning who you are, taking time for yourself, and loving yourself, you will never be just half of a couple again. You will be a whole being all on your own, and your next significant other will just be there to grow with you and laugh with you.
