27 Thoughts Every Gym Newbie Has | The Odyssey Online
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27 Thoughts Every Gym Newbie Has

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27 Thoughts Every Gym Newbie Has
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Remember the "this year will be my healthy and fit year" promise you made yourself in January? Well, it's months later and the most exercise you've gotten is walking to the refrigerator. You may be out of shape, but it's time to get off your butt and head to the gym. As you head to the gym, these thoughts cross your mind ...

1. Wow, I'm really here. Okay, blend in. Act like you belong.

2. How the heck do I use this machine? Do I sit on it? Lie on it? Where do my legs go? This is way too complicated.

3. Okay, play it cool. Don't make an ass of yourself on this machine. *Machine slams and everyone looks.*

4. "Enter your weight" Haha, is this a joke? Yeah right, as if I would ever do that.

5. Oh God, who is that man over there grunting? Is he okay? It sounds like he's giving birth.

6. *Looks at time.* Sweet, only 28 more minutes on this machine and I'll have worked off that one cookie that I ate four hours ago.

7. Jesus, is it just me or is it burning hot in here?

8. Wow, I'm really starting to sweat. Why am I so sweaty? Ew, I'm leaving sweat marks on this machine. Sorry, people.

9. *Looks around* Why is no one else sweating as much as I am?!

10. Why does the girl next to me look like she's going to prom? Perfectly straightened ponytail, bronzed face, adorable workout outfit. I probably look like Chewbacca next to her ...

11. Is my heart rate supposed to be this high? Is this normal?

12. Oh, I can feel the burn! Oh, it hurts, make it stop!

13. Oh boy, I can feel last night's pizza in my stomach ... I might puke

14. Okay, get it together and keep going. Think of the bikini bod. Do it for the bikini bod! I am going to look great, and every boy is going to want me.

15. Who am I kidding? These love handles aren't going anywhere anytime soon.

16. Oh lord, I'm going to have to cut this sports bra off, I'm so sweaty.

17. This is so boring. I'm literally more bored than I've ever been in my life. I wanna go home.

18. Since I'm working out, I can have ice cream for dessert right? Hell, yeah! If that's not motivation, I don't know what is.

19. *Fifteen minutes pass.* That's good enough. Screw this, I'm getting off. Done with cardio.

20. Man, I feel primal and sexy and fit. *Looks in the mirror to see entire face coated with sweat and mascara.*

21. Time for the core training. Here we go.

22. Booty time, It's all about the booty.

23. Only a trillion squats away from my dream ass, I can do this.

24. Maybe I'll just stretch over here to stall time and make it look like I'm doing something.

25. My back hurts. My butt hurts. My whole body hurts. Wah.

26. Will the workers judge me if I leave already? Maybe if I sneak out when nobody is watching I'll be okay ...

27. *Triumphantly walking out of the gym.* Phew, I really went all in today. I should reward myself with some ice-cream and rest up for the rest of the week. Wouldn't want to over strain anything. Gosh, I am so freaking fit. Go me!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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