26 Thoughts We All Have While Watching 'Criminal Minds'

26 Thoughts We All Have While Watching 'Criminal Minds'

The statistical probability of being a victim of one of these crimes is slim, right?
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It's that show your parents tell you to quit watching after you have called them paranoid 700 times at midnight. It's like a train wreck — you know better to watch but you can't look away. Whether you're easily scared, like myself, and have to watch it with a group of friends during broad daylight or you can face the terror all alone during night hours, at some point we have all been unable to stomach the gruesome, gross, and down right terrifying 45 minutes of "Criminal Minds." Compiled below are just a few of the common thoughts that all at some point cross our minds during the roller coaster episodes:

1. Well.... That was an interesting start.

2. Oh, Shemar Moore.

3. Can I be JJ for a living?

4. Did he just?

5. Reid is incredible.

6. Is my door locked?

7. You think Hotch could be my life coach?

8. I just want a Penelope Garcia and Derek Morgan relationship.

9. Did that guy just?

10. NOT THE KIDS.

11. Run, woman run.

12. Turn around, DANG IT.

13. It was who?

14. No way I'm sleeping tonight.

15. Maybe I should turn my lights on.

16. I need a break...let me grab some water.

*Slowly crawls out of bed, holds hands in pretend gun position and slides along the walls of the house checking empty rooms and carefully turning around corners*

*Fixes water without turning back to any open doorways and being careful not to glance in windows or mirrors*

*Suddenly overwhelmed by all the built up anxiety and loses all hope of stealth and sprints loudly back to room to jump in bed and quickly duck under the covers*

17. Whew, that was close.

18. Does stuff like this happen in real life?

*Googles national murder rates*

19. I'm never going on a blind date.

20. I'm never parking in a parking deck.

21. I'm never going anywhere alone.

22. I'm never going anywhere ever again for that matter.

23. Some of these un-subs remind me of people I know.

*Begins profiling all friends, relatives, and classmates*

24. Yay. We saved the day.

25. I could totally be a field agent.

26. Hmmm. Time for bed.

*Turns off TV and spends the rest of the night lying in bed without blinking*

Cover Image Credit: http://www.whats-on-netflix.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/criminal-minds-netflix.jpg

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I Blame My Dad For My High Expectations

Dad, it's all your fault.
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I always tell my dad that no matter who I date, he's always my number one guy. Sometimes I say it as more of a routine thing. However, the meaning behind it is all too real. For as long as I can remember my dad has been my one true love, and it's going to be hard to find someone who can top him.

My dad loves me when I am difficult. He knows how to keep the perfect distance on the days when I'm in a mood, how to hold me on the days that are tough, and how to stand by me on the days that are good.

He listens to me rant for hours over people, my days at school, or the episode of 'Grey's Anatomy' I watched that night and never once loses interest.

He picks on me about my hair, outfit, shoes, and everything else after spending hours to get ready only to end by telling me, “You look good." And I know he means it.

He holds the door for me, carries my bags for me, and always buys my food. He goes out of his way to make me smile when he sees that I'm upset. He calls me randomly during the day to see how I'm doing and how my day is going and drops everything to answer the phone when I call.

When it comes to other people, my dad has a heart of gold. He will do anything for anyone, even his worst enemy. He will smile at strangers and compliment people he barely knows. He will strike up a conversation with anyone, even if it means going way out of his way, and he will always put himself last.

My dad also knows when to give tough love. He knows how to make me respect him without having to ask for it or enforce it. He knows how to make me want to be a better person just to make him proud. He has molded me into who I am today without ever pushing me too hard. He knew the exact times I needed to be reminded who I was.

Dad, you have my respect, trust, but most of all my heart. You have impacted my life most of all, and for that, I can never repay you. Without you, I wouldn't know what I to look for when I finally begin to search for who I want to spend the rest of my life with, but it might take some time to find someone who measures up to you.

To my future husband, I'm sorry. You have some huge shoes to fill, and most of all, I hope you can cook.

Cover Image Credit: Logan Photography

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Short Stories On Odyssey: Roses

What's worth more than red roses?

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Five years old and a bouquet of roses rested in her hands. The audience-- clapped away her performance, giving her a standing ovation. She's smiling then because everything made sense, her happiness as bright as the roses she held in her hands.

Fifteen now, and a pile of papers rested on her desk. The teachers all smiled when she walked down the aisle and gave them her presentation. She was content then but oh so stressed, but her parents happy she had an A as a grade, not red on her chest.

Eighteen now and a trail of tears followed her to the door. Partying, and doing some wild things, she just didn't know who she was. She's crying now, doesn't know anymore, slamming her fists into walls, pricking her fingers on roses' thorns.

Twenty-one and a bundle of bills were grasped in her hands. All the men-- clapped and roared as she sold her soul, to the pole, for a dance. She's frowning now because everything went wrong, but she has to stay strong, for rich green money, is worth more than red roses.

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