Just from the short time that I’ve worked as a cashier, I have learned that working in customer service really can be as bad as people have warned you about. Don’t get me wrong—you get totally normal customers that come through your line and give you hope for humanity. But then right after them, you get the “What do you mean I can’t use 100 competitor coupons for one item?” customer and all of that hope is immediately lost again. Most days, I get through my shift with minimal trouble from customers, but some days I consider throwing customer’s cartons of eggs at them and leaving the building with my middle fingers in the air. Here are some thoughts that all cashiers have had go through their minds at some point.

1. Actually, my day is crap.
2. Get off your phone!
3. I love it that you need to carry on your conversation on the phone. It makes telling you your total and asking for your form of payment so much easier.
4. Who does this child belong to?
5. Yes, I’m referring to the child screeching at the end of my lane as they pull off all the chips they want to eat.
6. Anyone going to shut this kid up?
7. You’re not going to pick the chips up? Awesome.
8. Are you really worth losing my job over?
9. Of course, I don’t mind explaining the coupon policy that’s clearly laid out right in front of you.
10. You know the policy taped to the spot you just slammed your purse down on? Oh, you didn’t see it? Well I can see exactly how that’s my fault. Not.
11. Sure I’ll call manager over for them to tell you the exact same thing.
12. No, she’s not going to change it just for you.
13. You’re not special.
14. Your transaction is over, why are you still standing here?
15. Don’t hit on me. Please, just stop.
16. Why are you telling me about your life story? Try a diary instead.
17. You’re not a comedian, and your jokes aren’t funny.
18. Put the money in my hand, not on the belt, come on.
19. Yes, I mind taking everything out that I just bagged because you forgot you had your own bags.
20. No, I can’t just key in the coupon manually because you want the deal for an item you didn’t buy. What even?
21. Why would you come through the express line with more than 25 items? Can you read?
22. Once again, my manager will you tell you the same damn thing.
23. Go ahead, see if the customer service desk cares.
24. You can’t just make up totals for the item because that’s how much you want to pay for it.
25. The store closes in two minutes, why are you just now coming in to do your shopping of the month?! Leave!
26. Could I make it without this paycheck?
27. No, the item isn't free because it didn't scan. Ha, so funny.
28. It's 10? I'm free!