As I sit here not studying in this beautiful library that smells like body odor and tears, I came to the realization that there are so many other things I would spend my time doing rather than study. So instead of focusing on my studies, I put together this list I like to call “26 Things I’d Rather Do Than Study.”
My mom and my GPA may hate me, but I sure did have a jolly time coming up with these.
1. Tell a kindergarten class that Santa isn’t real.
2. Run through the quad yelling “AMURRICA.”
3. Clean the gum under every desk in the library.
4. Count how many steps it takes to walk the Great Wall of China.
5. Read “50 Shades of Grey” to my grandma.
6. Sit front row at a Clay Aiken concert.
7. Perform a dance routine to “Stayin' Alive” at a funeral.
8. Be a fraternity pledge for a week.
9. Have my wedding reception in the testing center.
10. Clean the Statue of Liberty with a toothbrush.
11. Sit in a tiger cage for an hour wearing a dress made of filet mignon.
12. Throw away a perfectly good pizza.
13. Hop around campus with my shoelaces tied together.
14. Figure out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
15. Tattoo “turn up” on my forehead.
16. Go on a roller coaster after eating two burritos.
17. Play patty-cake with a cactus.
18. Make my composite picture my profile picture on Facebook (trust me, it’s rough).
19. Watch “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” and every time Kim takes a selfie I have to slap a random person in the face.
20. Be a bathroom attendant at a bar downtown.
21. Swim in a pool of freshly brewed coffee.
22. Tell a group of sorority girls that Starbuck’s no longer sells Pumpkin Spice Lattes.
23. Volunteer as tribute for The Hunger Games.
24. Play kickball barefoot on the sun.
25. Count Bill Gates' money by hand.
26. Cook bacon in front of a family of pigs.
That’s all, folks. Now let me get back to watching Netflix... I mean studying.
