1.) "NOOOOOO."
When that alarm goes off, interrupting you from your sleep that just felt sooooo good, you can't help but react this way.
2.) "Gooooood morning, everyone!"
Whether it's to your co-workers, boss, or even to a parent dropping their child off, it comes out in tone that regular people would call "too cheerful". Hey man, not my fault. Being a morning person is practically a job requirement in this line of work.
3.) "I'm already exhausted."
Even though there's just one child so far, it gets you thinking about the rest of them that will be coming soon enough, and just that thought ages you a little bit.
4.) "Okay seriously, who pooped already?"
It's like, not even eight o'clock and someone already stinks.
5.) "I got this one."
Sometimes you gotta just take one for the team and change the nasty ones, no matter how much you gag in the process.
6.) "What is that? Where did you find it?"
Kids have this great knack for finding every single piece of paper, paper towel, dirt, leftover food, sand and pretty much any other substance you can think of that somehow was missed when you vacuumed.
7.) "They have better food than me."
Oh how I long for the days when my mom would make my lunch for me. Such simpler times.
8.) "Is it time to go outside yet?"
Who are we kidding, it's always time to go outside.
9.) "It's just sunscreen stop running away from me."
You'd think the kiddos saw the devil himself whenever the sunscreen comes out.
10.) "Okay I think I'm wearing more of your sunscreen than you are."
And honestly, it's not the worst. Coppertone kids smells amazing.
11.) "Time to go outside!"
Going outside with small children is an all hands on deck event. Everyone grabs a baby, one goes outside to lead the kiddos, one walks with them, and the other sweeps behind with the stragglers.
12.) "No thank you, we don't eat leaves."
I understand the whole mouth exploration stage where kids want to feel everything in their mouths, but when they actually chew and swallow multiple things from the ground? Like, why???
13.) "What's my Pinterest password?"
Pinterest is a literal life saver. The mount of times it's saved me by giving me last minute project ideas....
14.) "Where's the..."
The sentence that never gets finished because you end up finding whatever you were looking for before you can even think of the word for it.
15.) "Please don't eat that."
No, I'm not talking about food.
16.) "Can you just not throw your food?"
Maybe just, I don't know, eat it?
17.) "Well, if you don't want that, I can't help you because it's all you have in your lunch box."
At some point you have to just give up and let them just sit there at the table. If they won't eat what they have, they won't eat at all.
18.) "Okay it's nap time now, time to be quiet."
Partially because the other kids are sleeping, but mostly because we employees just NEED A BREAK.
19.) "How are you not tired?"
You're going to miss nap time when you're older, trust me on this one.
20.) "FINALLY!"
Followed by silent rejoicing because the kids are finally all asleep and you have some much needed peace and quiet.
21.) "OMG you won't believe what so and so's mom told me this morning!"
Of course what we say never leaves the walls of the building, but it's still fun to gossip with your co-workers once in a while.
22.) "Please don't eat that."
This one is one that gets repeated pretty much every five minutes. Curious minds, I tell ya.
23.) "I think I'm losing my mind."
Crying children will do that to you.
24.) (Insert expletive of choice)
No, we don't say this one out loud, but we do repeat them inside quite a bit.
25.) "I love my job."
Because no matter how insane the days are, and no matter how much you want to just scream at the top of your lungs, you wouldn't want to do any other job.
