25 Signs You're an English Major | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

25 Signs You're an English Major

Dost thou readeth it?

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25 Signs You're an English Major
The Daily Touch

In a world filled with computer science technology moguls, business entrepreneurial moguls, and biology medical moguls, there is little room for attention on such programs as the humanities. Yet these majors also hold a strong and proud tradition of their own. This is certainly so for the readers and thinkers of the English major. Mitt Romney, CEO of Bain Capital. Andrea Jung, former CEO of Avon. Conan O'Brien, television host. Barbara Walters, renowned journalist. These are just a few of the many successful English majors out there. And they have all probably had at least a few of these following signs in common in their college experience.


1. Your daily papers, stories, and tests could amount to a full-length novel.

2. Filler words and extravagant language are your friends.

3. There's a 50/50 chance you'll either completely ace or completely fail a paper.

4. You're used to killing a whole bunch of trees.

5. You don't buy textbooks. You buy novels.

6. You feel a sort of triumph when you don't have to math like the rest of your friends.

7. You astound your friends when you can actually math sometimes.

8. You also recognize that math is not in fact a verb.

9. Common hour exams? What are common hour exams?

10. You used to look down on those who use Spark Notes. Now it's your friend.

11. Class discussions can get a little heated.

12. Unless you didn't read the assigned material.

13. And class discussions aren't just meant for the classroom.

14. You tend to analyze words just a little too seriously.

15. And you're a little too critical of just about everything.

16. But that makes finding a perfect story that much better.

17. It may be hard to believe, but there are going to be some stories that you just absolutely hate.

18. And then there are other stories that you treat as your own children.

19. You find yourself marveling at the beauty of words on a daily basis.

20. You know lines of Shakespeare better than the back of your hand.

21. Way too many people ask if you're going to be a teacher after college.

22. You've been told on a regular basis that your major isn't going to get you anywhere.

23. But you have a little more confidence in your major than that.

24. You might need just a little inspiration to keep you going.

25. But at the end of the day, there are few people that could be quite as proud of their major as you.

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