We all have that friend. That friend we love to death, but if we are sure of anything in this world, it’s that they will not respond to your text because they suck at texting. That moment when you see “Read 1:04 p.m.” and you’re like “and???? Helloooooooo!”
These are 25 responses for that dear friend.
1. Lol thanks for tagging me in that FB post, now text me tf back.
2. OMG, wait you met Chris Hemsworth and he’s professing his love to you??!! No? Okay, then you can def text me back.
3. Hey I’m coming to help you since you obviously broke your thumbs and can’t respond.
4. Lolol thanks for responding. I’ll just continue the conversation with myself. That’s cool.
5. Good chat.
6. Yeah I wouldn’t know how to respond either, pizza topping selection is a thought-provoking process. Take your time. Meditate on it.
7. The classic: ^^^^^^^^^
8. I hope you’re writing me the 8th Harry Potter novel.
9. That was a yes or no question. This isn’t difficult. You wouldn’t do well with ‘Sophie’s Choice.’
10. Omg, did you pass out from the excitement of getting a text from me? Totally understandable. Text me when you regain consciousness, love.
11. Omg what a witty and clever response. Nothing. So philosophical.
12. The only excuse I’ll accept is if you’re eating guac and don’t want to get it on your phone. Because avocados are life.
13. I love it when you do that adorable thing when you don’t text me back for hours. So cute.
14. Okay I’ll answer for you. Yes, you’re going out tonight. Glad we had this convo.
15. In the time it has taken you to respond, dinosaurs could have retaken the earth.
17. The dramatic but also very valid response: That’s what happens when you don’t respond for 30 minutes. People die.
18. I apologize for asking if you were coming to watch Bachelor, clearly the decision has caused you serious reflection on your priorities. I’m sorry to have caused you this existential crisis.
19. Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship. But like plz respond…
20. Your response time is longer than Ross and Rachel’s entire relationship. 10 seasons. You couldn’t text me back for 10 seasons?!!
21. Wait. You’re responding too fast. I can’t keep up. Hang on. Don’t respond so quickly. Jeez.
22. A subtle but perfectly placed gif. What will you go with? The classic eye roll perhaps or maybe a “you suck.”
23. Did you fall off a cliff? Wait, you don’t exercise. Pause your Netflix and respond b*tch.
24. Omg I WON THE LOTTERY. *responds* Lol now you respond…
25. And my personal favorite and go to, Did you text me and then decide to THROW YOUR PHONE ACROSS THE OCEAN?! Lol swim fast, I need an answer.