25 Questions I Have For Florida Gulf Coast University

Being stuck at home in quarantine has got me thinking a lot about my college life, and I've brought up a few points that really don't make a lick of sense...

1. Why is there a random observatory behind the main buildings, and why have I never met a single soul who has been inside it?

2. Why does every single bathroom stall have a huge gap in between the door and the frame?

3. Who decided we were all just going to pronounce "Alico" wrong?

4. Why do we pretend we're a beachfront school when it's actually just a big lake?

5. Why are only a few of the North Lake dorms hardwood floored?

6. And what is up with that carpet in the rest of the North Lake dorms?

7. How did the crazy preacher man come to be?

8. Why haven't we kicked him off campus or something?

9. Why is the Cohen Center always FREEZING?

10. Why do you keep making the speed bumps in South Village bigger every year?

11. Do you really think that's gonna slow down the Honda Civics that think they're Mustangs?

12. Why would you make Reed and Ben Hill Griffin look exactly the same?

13. Am I the only one who gets disoriented walking out of Ben Hill Griffin because I think I'm walking out of Reed?

14. Why do the shuttle drivers hate me? What did I ever do to them?

15. You do know that most of the cars parked in the "low-fuel emitting" parking spaces are not low-fuel emitting cars, right?

16. Is it just me or does it feel like we have service learning fairs like once a week?

17. Why doesn't our on-campus Chick-Fil-A taste like actual Chick-Fil-A?

18. Why does the WIFI crash at the most inconvenient times?

19. Do you plan that? Do you WANT us to fail?

20. Who runs the library's Instagram page? I want them to know I would die for them.

21. Why are the desks so small in certain classrooms?

22. Who thought it was a good idea to make Myra Janco Daniels Public Media Center such a walk from main campus?

23. And why can't we go through the back door to get in?

24. Did we really need a giant statue of Azul sitting on a bench or...?

25. And of course, the question we all want to ask, why don't we have a football team?