I am an eighteen-year-old girl who's never had a boyfriend.
After reading that phrase, I bet you're painting a picture in your head of me as someone who's unattractive or socially awkward. But neither of those things are true. I bet you also think eighteen years of being single is somewhat of a tragedy. But that's not true either.
Here's the deal. I have gone to an all-girl school for basically my whole life. (Again, this is far from being a tragedy.) I have also always cared more about my own goals and passions than about buying into a society that tells you that romance is everything.
Just because I've never had a boyfriend doesn't mean that I'm lonely or that my life is empty. My eighteen years of living have been absolutely beautiful. I'm in love with theatre and literature. I have wonderful friends and family. All of these things fill me to the brim with joy.
For those who still don't understand how the single life could possibly be fulfilling, I have created a list. Here are twenty-five of the most profound things I've ever experienced, none of which involve romance. And these are only naming a few:
1. The many deep conversations I’ve had at midnight with my best friends.
2. All the times I’ve walked the streets of New York City, feeling my heart beat in rhythm with the people around me.
3. Blowing out the candles on my birthday, and wondering what the next year is going to hold.
4. Sleeping in late on the first day of summer vacation.
5. Reconnecting with old friends who I hadn’t seen in forever.
6. Holidays spent surrounded my the family I love so much.
7. When I signed a copy of my newly published novel for the first time.
8. When I took my new puppy for her first walk around the neighborhood.
9. The feelings of gratefulness that overwhelm me whenever I think about how much my parents love me.
10. Spending my Saturdays at a musical theatre conservatory, where I learned incredible things surrounded by incredible people.
11. When my director told me and my two friends that our musical trio was the strongest performance the conservatory had ever seen, and I almost cried because I had no idea I could be so good.
12. When I found people who've had the same struggles as me when I thought I was completely alone.
13. When I spoke up about the stigmatization of mental illness for the first time, and by the end of the conversation had the support of people who once judged me for my struggle.
14. When I wrote a play about the stigmatization of mental illness, and was thanked for giving sufferers a voice.
15. When I saw my play come to life with other actors for the first time. It was something like witnessing the birth of a child.
16. My first college visit at the beginning of junior year. It was so surreal imagining my future.
17. Feeling the butterflies in my stomach before my first college audition.
18. Feeling the last few months of high school coming to a close, and reflecting on all that I’ve accomplished.
19. Taking my bow for the last time in my school’s musical senior year.
20. When the admissions counselor at my dream school told me that my chances of getting off the wait list were pretty good, and I felt the pieces of hope clinging together in my heart.
21. The free days I’ve spent at amusement parks screaming at the top of roller coasters with my best friends.
22. The times that strangers have told me they were genuinely moved by my performances.
23. Narrowing down my college search and finally having clarity about where I’d be spending the next four years.
24. My many vacations to Florida, where I let myself bask in the wonders I don’t see every day.
25. The times my friends have promised to never leave my side, and then stuck to their word.
It is very possible to be happy without a significant other. In my eighteen years of being single, I have been very content with myself and the people around me. And when a significant other happens to come along sometime soon, I'll be able to offer him a piece of that contentment.
