Apparently, corny jokes have taken on the name "dad jokes". You know, the jokes that your dad tells and he starts to crack up, but nobody else laughs and we all just shakes our head. The jokes that make you question your entire existence for the next five minutes after it's told.
I laughed harder than I care to admit at some of these jokes, and honestly these are the type of jokes that I would definitely tell. Maybe I am actually a dad at heart.
I've searched the internet and I've consulted friends and family, so without further ado, I give you 24 bad dad jokes that I wish I didn't laugh at. Hopefully you get a little chuckle out of them.
1. “Look at the cemetery. People are dying to get in there. You know how they get in? With a skeleton key.” –My friend Amanda’s Dad every time they pass a cemetery
2. "How do cows count? Cowculator." -Submitted by Kyra Armstrong
3. " What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y." -BuzzFeed
4. "A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'" -BuzzFeed
5. "Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!'" -BuzzFeed
6. "How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!" -BuzzFeed
7. "On all of my medical forms growing up my dad wrote 'red' for my blood type. To this day, no one knows my actual blood type." -BuzzFeed
8. "I wanted to buy camouflage pants, but I couldn't find any." -ViralNova
9. "I held the door for a clown. It was a nice jester." -ViralNova
10. "I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean." -ViralNova
11. Mom: Honey, can you call my phone?
Dad: Sure! “MOM’S PHONE! MOM’S PHONE!” -ViralNova
12. "A dry erase board? It's remarkable." -ViralNova
13. "I always buy gum with beer and when the cashier asks for ID I say, 'You have to be 21 to buy gum?!'" -ViralNova
14. "I'm terrified of elevators. I'll be taking steps to avoid them." -ViralNova
15. "I swallowed some food coloring. I think I dyed inside." -ViralNova
16. "I couldn't figure out my seatbelt, but then it clicked." -ViralNova
17. "Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's okay he woke up." -The Telegraph
18. "A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father.
'Well son, now that you’ve got a kid of your own, I think it’s time to give you this.'
'Dad, you don’t mean—'
'Yes son, I do.' *Dad pulls out cop of 1001 Dad Jokes, 5th ed.*
'Dad, I’m honored…', he said, tears sparkling in his eyes.
'Hi honored', replies his father. 'I’m Dad.'” -The Telegraph
19. "I've got some kind of allergic reaction going on and my face is breaking out in a rash and my mom is freaking out and wants to take me to the ER and my dad was like, 'Let's not make any rash decisions.' and we high fived and now my mom is yelling at us." -The Telegraph
20. "What do you call cheese by itself? Provolone." -Mashable
21. "Have you heard about the new movie Constipation? It never came out." -PopSugar.
22. "My dad does this every time we go out to eat:
Waitress: *sees that Dad hasn't eaten all his food* 'Do you want a box for that?'
Dad: 'No, but I'll wrestle ya for it!'" -PopSugar.
23. "Last Christmas we bought a fake Christmas tree and the guy behind the counter said to my dad, "Are you going to put it up yourself?' Dad replied, 'Don't be disgusting. I'm going to put it in the living room.'" -PopSugar
24. "Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere." -PopSugar.
25. "My kid said to me, 'Dad, can you put my shoes on?' to which I replied, 'No, they don't fit me!"' -Crieff News
