25 Basic Facts that ALL UGA Betches Know
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25 Basic Facts that ALL UGA Betches Know

25 Basic Facts that ALL UGA Betches Know

Let’s face it. Ladies, of all the SEC schools where we could be defined as a “betch,” UGA no doubt has acquired the brightest and most glamorous betches of them all. We’d be dammed if we were anywhere else ESPECIALLY seeing as Athens has the ability to bring out the most basic elements of even down to earth girls. If you don’t believe me, just take gander at Pauleys on a Friday night during fall semester, it’s nearly impossible to find a girl that doesn’t emulate total basic-ness.

While being basic isn’t necessarily a quality that is held in the highest esteem, it’s still a quality that at one point or another we all possess. Ultimately existing as an all encompassing lifestyle, from freshman year to adulthood, combating basic-ness is just a fact we have accept. When it comes to embracing your inner “basic betch,” it isn’t just about our love for frat-stars, endless parties, the perfect-downtown outfit, or even tailgating..… it’s so much more. 

Besides making it to graduation, one of the most challenging things that we as basic UGA  girls confront is what the rest of the world think of us and our “basic” problems. Here at UGA, recognizing your “basicness” is an essential element to entering the real world and recognizing the laws that govern womanhood. We’ve all heard the phrase “basic betch” at one point or another, but what exactly does this legendary status entail? 

25 Basic Facts that ALL UGA Betches Know

1. The struggle to derive originality when it comes to Spring Party outfits is real. Looking back, who else showed up to ShowerCap filled with regret about their generic flower crowns and shameful jorts? You tried in vain to locate the most hipster outfit for a spring party, but unfortunately, everyone else seems to have had the genius idea to hit up the Urban Outfitters sale rack. You feel as though you have failed, but hold on, there is yet a glimmer of hope! Although initially you may look like every other girl in high waisted shorts, all the other betches are starting at you with envy because guess what: You’re the BETCH who brought face paint.  

 2. While it sucks to have to cancel a last minute date night, what’s even worse is going on a date night and not getting a t-shirt. If you go to UGA,  then you know the significance of sporting your Comfort Colors. Although it’s a sad fact, not getting a t-shirt from from a date usually translates to “We really wished you weren’t on it”.  

3. Ever heard of an Irish exit? If not, you should start to congratulate yourself as an unintentional master. Referring to the departure from any event without telling friends, family, acquaintances, or dates that one is leaving... it's almost always the result of being either painfully sober or beyond inebriated. Once or twice we’ve all pulled the, “I’ll just meet up with you later!” card…. even though we never follow through. Experts at 'Adult Hide and Go Seek', although it can sometimes come off as rude, ‘getting separated’ from your date downtown is often times a calculated mission to ditch them.  

4. Whether you have realized this or not, Date nights are often times similar to grade school birthday parties. Although getting set up on blind dates has the potential to be fun, sometimes a basic girl must sacrifice her free will in order to coordinate dates based on a certain fraternity. Even if you don’t have a good time because of a terrible date… on the brightside at least it wasn’t awkward! While you were busy chatting and avoiding eye contact with good old ‘what’s his face’, thankfully he was too distracted because 80% of his pledge class were also conveniently on your date night.  

5. Existing as a problem prevalently faced in the beginning of Spring semester, a basic problem that all girls at UGA face is trying to “plant the seed” to eventually get invited on Fraternity Formals. Exploring incredible cities such as New Orleans, Nashville, Savannah and Charleston: this is is just the beginning to what could be perhaps the greatest weekend of your life. Although you world won’t end if you don’t get invited, girls would kill to dress up in five star attire as well as spend the weekend escaping their most basic problems with reality.  

6. Although we’ve always known when it’s time for football season, the struggle to mix and match a new red and black outfit for game days is always overwhelming. Never mind the fact that we’ve spent months in preparation, it’s always difficult to acquiring completely unique sun dresses that won’t show sweat marks when we decide to ‘Call the Dogs’ in Sanford Stadium.  

7. If you’re a betch, then it’s an understatement to say that you love your sorority. There’s an indescribable amount of pride that a girl feels when she displays her letters on Game Day. Ordering a roll of Sorority stickers is crucial for this, after all how else can you expect to have your guy friends beg you to give them stickers?  

8. Finals week is a cruel reality we all must conquer. Whether it’s late night cramming the night before or weeks of preparation for O-chem, basic UGA girls often have larger than college aspirations and frequently subscribe to the mentality ‘work hard, play harder’. The only problem we encounter during finals week is when to fit in our daily showers. Life is hard when we’re too busy monopolizing study rooms for days with Sorority sisters in the SLC during test weeks.  

9. God help you if you forget your sun-tan lotion. If you’re a basic betch,  then by default you live to hit up Town Club pool. When its hot after class, there's nothing quite like laying out with your friends and splashing around. Although it’s sometimes impossible to get a chair, you have to admit that your dedication to get dat bronze is admirable.

10. Familiar with Cinderella syndrome, if you’ve ever been downtown after the clock strikes 2 then you know it’s time to head home. While you hopefully have managed to keep track of both of your shoes during the course of the night, we all know that our chariot awaits when we call Howard. Waiting outside of Moonshine, the magic of the night fades and the early on-set of a hangover beings. Your exhaustion strikes and just before you are about settle down on the curb and surrender... you see Howard pull up with a cab full of your friends beckoning you to join them! Climbing into his cab, you’re suddenly whisked home where you slip him a $5 and merrily pass out.  

11. What’s even more important than getting asked on a date night, is getting a #1 at Chik-fila with a large Coke to-go for your date. If he asks you to Zaxby’s that’s acceptable too, but if he takes you to Chik-fila, then you know he’s a keeper.  

12. It sucks, but we’ve all had that awkward moment where we recognize an older or younger girl our sorority...but can’t remember their name. You make eye contact on the bus after you recognize that you’re wearing the same t-shirt, yet you don’t actually know one another. Tentatively you wave to each other out of sheer awkwardness rather than genuine familiarity. Finally seeing each other at chapter you break the silence and learn each other’s name, however unfortunately it’s too late and that doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable.  

13. Before you do anything else on game day, it’s important to make sure to get wristbands for  you and your friends in the fraternity sections at games. Accomplishing this step before the day even begins is key, since you’re basic and terrible sticking with a plan. Having those wristbands before you begin tailgating is key, after all you might not even make it to the game if you don’t have an idea of where you’re going to be sitting.  

14. There’s an awful feeling in the pit of your stomach when you put on heels in the beginning of the night just because they make the outfit. Yup. It’s not even 11, you’re completely sober, Whiskey Bent is starting to get crowded and you already have the worst blister of your life. This feeling of excruciating pain is then followed by a deep sense of regret and wishing you switched to better wedges or even flats halfway through the pregame. It’s at this point where you would no doubt sacrifice an arm and a leg to make it it acceptable to wear nike shorts and sneakers downtown.  

15. Anthropology? Ann-Taylor? What does it even mean to dress like a young professional? Having been caught up in the college vortex for the past four years, I’m sure you’ve found yourself wondering what you’re going to do when you graduate and sorority t-shirts are no longer everyday wear. Oh well, I guess you’ll figure it out eventually. It seems as though you have until about May to find out. 

16.Moon Taxi at Lost? The Dirty Guvs at Cowboy Ball? SHUT UP, SHUT UP, GUYS OMG: New Madrid is NOT playing at Native! ….with Spring Parties existing as the highlight of the year, scheduling becomes an art form. It’s impossible to not have a set agenda for when you want to hit every party of the weekend. Although it’s difficult to figure out rides and you have to accept the blisters the will accompany your journeys, basic betches are admired for their your dedication to attend each rager. 

17. So there’s this really cute guy in your psych class, and YEAH he might have a bit of a reputation as a drinker, but he’s totally going totally going to behave himself on YOUR date night. You think you’re special...think again, we’ve all had THAT bogus date. You know the one that you had to literally carry home? A huge factor in your invitation to your date night is that your date can handle himself. While it’s always fun to kill it with a beer pong partner, things can easily take a fatal turn when ‘Mr. Dreamy Psych Class’ finishes a handle on his own. Not making it past pre-game, it looks like you’re going on this date night as a party of one. 

18. In the quest to have gorgeous decorations for your room, you spend days on Pinterest trying to come up with the best ideas. One problems that basic betches can run into is over-cluttered Pinterest boards. Although you can never have enough Athens themed DIY art projects, it’s important to remember to initially organize your pins in the most proficient manner possible. 

19. “I’m so fancy, you already know. I’m in the fast lane, from L.A. to Tokyo. I’m so fancy, can’t you taste this gold? Remember my name, 'bout to blow-oh-oh-oh” …. IGGY, we worship you. Enough said. This semester’s version of Royals, you can’t help but feel overwhelmingly basic when you’re downtown with a group of your friends and you get overly excited when “Fancy” comes on. YES - we understand that it’s your jam, good thing we embrace you and all of your basicness. 

20. If you’ve ever watched Inception, then you’ll also understand this dilemma: If you don’t order at least a large t-shirt, then did you really get a T-shirt?  - It doesn’t does it? Or maybe it does? Perhaps you’re not basic enough to answer this question? Are you? Just think about it 

21. Wine. enough said.

22. Browsing through the articles on TSM or Buzzfeed, oftentimes you feel as though these websites and it’s quizzes were made for you. Yes my spirit animal is a tiger and I totally should have been born in the 1960’s - THANKS BUZZFEED. It’s a basic problem that all girls at UGA face, we can’t help but relate every TSM and Buzzfeed article back to us and our friends’ lives. 

23. Should I use Low-Fi or Hefe? Does this picture even seem insta-worthy? When exploring North Campus during spring time, it’s hard not to want to take pictures of everything. Not to mention the added pressure of making sure that these amateur photos are fabulous enough to be posted on your sorority tumblr. Life can be pretty hard at times. 

24. There comes a point where you have to look at yourself and accept the fact you have a serious addiction. So what if you’ve filled up 12 punch cards this semester, if you have a class on North Campus you’re also obligated to go to the Jittery Joes. Every basic girl has completed this action at least 20 times during her total college career….support local business right?  

25. If you live on Milledge, then I can also guarantee you own 50 Shades of Frat Tanks. Red, blue, green, that weird beige color that looks almost yellow… All the colors of the fratty rainbow. While you can’t hide this fact, the optimistic basic betch dreams about her eventual frat blanket and in the present embraces how awesome a baggy t-shirt looks while she struts with her hangover to class. 

At this point I bet you’re feeling pretty fantastic. If you find yourself filled with sense a relief, it’s probably because you embrace all of these basic problems as part of your daily existence. However,  if you find yourself asking, “Am I really that basic?” - have no fear. At UGA, know that you're basic in the best way and we CHERISH it. Therefore, carry on and remember even in the darkest of times, there’s a kindred betch out there experiencing identical struggles. 

^Created as a collaboration article between: Gracie Preston, Anna- Caroline Watts, Kayla Murray, Elizabeth Endel, Morgan Oberg and Danni Weiner 

*Photo Credit to Lurda Jurgutis*

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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