23 Shakespearean Insults To Use Every Day

Have you ever found yourself in an argument with someone and needed the perfect insult that also demonstrated your superior intellect? This list of insults, straight out of Shakespeare’s works, will ensure that you’re prepared to put people down while also demonstrating your extensive knowledge of literature.

For when someone doubts your intelligence:

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"Take you me for a sponge?" -Hamlet

"More of your conversation would infect my brain" -The Comedy of Errors

"You speak an infinite deal of nothing." -The Merchant of Venice

"Confusion now hath made his masterpiece!" -Macbeth

"Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows." -Troilus and Cressida

"Thou cream faced loon." -Macbeth

For when someone catcalls you:

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"Away, you three-inch fool!" -The Taming of the Shrew

"Not half so big as a round little worm" -Romeo and Juliet

"I am sick when I do look on thee" -A Midsummer Night's Dream

"The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes" -The Comedy of Errors

"Thine face is not worth sunburning" -Henry V

"Like the toad; ugly and venemous." As You Like It

For when someone is just plain rude:

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"Thou art the rudeliest welcome to this world" -Pericles

"You, minion, are too saucy." -The Two Gentlemen of Verona

"His breath stinks with eating toasted cheese." -King Henry VI

"Thou art unfit for any place but hell." -Richard III

"Thou art a boil, a plague sore." -King Lear

Multipurpose:

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"Ill pray a thousand prayers for thy death" -Measure for Measure

"He's a disease that must be cut away." -Coriolanus

"Would thou wouldst burst!" -Timon of Athens

"Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat." -Henry V

"Thou lump of foul deformity." -Richard III

"Villian, I have done thy mother" -Titus Andronicus