1) Two goldfish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "I'll man the gun, you steer."

2) What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.

3) Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

4) Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sunday School.

5) How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

6) The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.

7) What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

8) Why do bees hum? Because they don't know the words.

9) Two satellites decided to get married. The ceremony was decent, but the reception was wonderful.

10) Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be called bagels.

11) What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast.

12) What do you call it when batman skips church? Christian Bale.

13) I went to the DMV to renew my license and the DMV employee asked if I was an organ donor. I said, "No, but if I had a piano I would give you that."

14) What's the difference between a piano and a tuna? You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.

15) How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.

16) Did you hear about the hungry clock? He went back four seconds.

17) What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator.

18) What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

19) How do you fit four elephants in a Volkswagen? Two in the front, two in the back.

20) How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? There's a footprint in the peanut butter.

21) How do you know if two elephants have been in your fridge? There are two footprints in the peanut butter.

22) How do you know if three elephants have been in your fridge? There are three footprints in the peanut butter.

23) How do you know if four elephants have been in your fridge? There's a Volkswagen parked outside.