This weekend was my birthday! And as my 22nd year came to a close, I thought “what better way to celebrate than to reflect on 22 mistakes I’ve made in 22 years?” Some of these are big life lessons and some are tiny embarrassing moments that stuck with me no matter how much I try to block them out. Enjoy!
1. Never learned how to properly read a map
Still can’t. I could die at any time.
2. Moved into a house without meeting the people I would live with
When I moved across the country, I was desperate to find housing closer to my job and cut down my 3 hour commute. I signed a lease for a great room in a great house with the naive thought that living with 4 random people I had never met would fine because I can usually get along with most people. I was very very wrong.
3. Continuously walked around barefoot outside
As a kid I had some sort of complex about walking barefoot, like not wearing shoes made me tough or something. The highlight reel of things I stepped on include live bees (I got stung), a dead rat (I screamed and threw up), and dog poop.
4. Never stood up for myself
This is is such a shy kid problem. It can still be a challenge sometimes, but if someone is being an ass to you, you have the right to say something.
5. Took AP Physics
Not saying you shouldn't aspire for greatness, but I know my limits. I took this class to hang out with my best friend and spent most of my time playing Pictionary with her. I actually laughed during the AP test because of how little I had learned.
6. Put Silly Putty in my dog's armpit (leg pit?)
I WAS 5, OKAY? Obviously the putty got stuck in my dog's fur and we had to cut it out. This is one of the only times I remember my dad being actually really mad at me.
7. I stood up on a sled to “snowboard”
I stood up on sleds all the time like an idiot and that choice caught up with me when I went off a jump and landed on my shoulder. My collar bone then proceeded to snap in half.
8. Went to a Jonas Brothers concert in 5th grade
Boy band concerts are really just you sitting in an auditorium listening to screaming girls.
9. Bought anything from Hollister ever
Their t-shirts have wider shoulders than hips. Who's even shaped like that? Also I lived in Minnesota, so I’m not entirely sure why I thought the surfer look was appropriate.
10. Let someone convince me I deserved to be treated poorly
If someone doesn’t treat you well, it’s definitely not because you deserve it. No one ever deserves anything but kindness and understanding and never let someone convince you otherwise.
11. Thought I could fit between those two cars
Don’t squeeze your car places. The bigger the gap, the better.
12. Didn’t wear sunscreen
Similar to walking barefoot outside, I had a complex about sunscreen and being “tough” enough to beat the sun. I got so burned in Hawaii when I went surfing that I fell into hysterics, talked to a statue, and bathed in ice.
13. I was mean in 7th grade for no real reason
I think every teenage girl has a mean phase. Mine was in 7th grade and it’s still cringe-worthy when I look back.
14. Didn’t read some street signs when I parked
Girl moves to big city. Girl doesn’t understand street parking and how to read. Girl gets parking tickets and towed.
15. Kept trying to prove to people that I was worth their friendship
I'm so guilty of doing this for way too long. If someone doesn’t put in the effort, move on.
16. Went to prom with a coworker
He had a secret girlfriend. It was very dramatic. Don’t date coworkers.
17. Ate a muffin in the backseat of a car and got chocolate stains all over my jeans right before a college tour
This is very specific but I had to walk around ALL DAY with large brown stains all over my pants and it was so embarrassing.
18. Didn’t change things because I was afraid of what people would think
I kept the same hairstyle for a long time because I thought people would judge me if I changed it. And one time I almost didn’t buy a pair of boots because I thought people would think I was trying to be someone I wasn’t. Like who cares? Do your hair however you want, wear whatever you want.
19. I watched every single season of The Real World
At approximately 12 one hour episodes per season for 32 seasons, that’s 384 hours of trash tv. 16 DAYS OF TRASH TV.
20. Let fear keep me from doing anything
I was a nervous child and liked to stay in my bubble. Usually the best decisions are the ones that get you out of your comfort zone and scare you.
21. Stopped playing piano
After 11 years of steady playing, I stopped for about 3 and lost all of my ability. I think a music teacher once told me for every 1 day you don’t play, you lose 2 days of practice. Not sure if that's accurate but it must have some truth to it.
22. I’ve gotten food poisoning 9 times
I don’t remember many specifics but I’ve got to be doing something wrong here.