1. When people say they know everything about theatre.

Person: I’ve been in six shows and have seen four shows on Broadway! I saw "Wicked," "Les Miserables," "Lion King," and "Phantom of the Opera"!

2. There is a difference between Play and Musical.

Person: I'm going to see that Play, "Matilda."

Theatre Person: You mean "Matilda" the MUSICAL.

3. Never insult a show.

Person: "Hamilton" was pretty good, but rap isn't Broadway.

4. Never insult performers.

Person: I don't get what's so special about Bernadette Peters.

Theatre Person: WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY!? Look at her.

5. Playbills are sacred.

Person: Do you want my playbill? If not I'm going to throw it out.

Theatre Person: I’ll take it. *pins it to wall with 100 other playbills and posters in bedroom*

6. Not all celebrities can pull off Broadway.

Person: If Lin Manuel Miranda can write a rap/hip-hop musical so can Kanye West.

Theatre Person: Haha, just like Donald Trump being president.

7. Good Luck is bad luck.

Person: Have a great opening night! Good Luck!

Theatre Person: You say break a leg.

8. Asking ridiculous questions.

Person: How do you memorize all those lines? That’s a lot of dancing, isn’t it difficult? Isn’t that kissing scene awkward?

9. Never say the M word. (Especially during hell and show week.)

Person: What's that famous Shakespeare’s play, MacB-

Theatre Person: DON’T SAY IT! It’s referred to as “The Scottish Play.”

10. BASICALLY Superstitions are taken VERY seriously.

Person: *whistles* *says Scottish Play* *says Good Luck*

Theatre Person: You have failed me as a friend.

11. Don't remind an actor about a show they just closed.

Person: How was the last day of Rent?

Theatre Person: *runs into bedroom and crawls under covers*

12. Don't ask about auditions.

Person: How did the audition go? Did you get it?

13. Insulting theatre as a career.

Person: Oh you want to be an actor for a living? Is that really practical?

Theatre Person: No and your point is?

14. People who don’t know the most famous playwright of all time.

Person: Who’s Shakespeare?

Theatre Person: There's no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.

15. Never insult the crew.

Person: Doesn’t seem like the crew does much for the show.

Theatre Person: They do a hell of a lot and deserve so much credit. That includes, directors, choreographers, designers, set builders, lighting, sound, props, makeup, costumes, and many many more!

16. Never insult the ensemble.

Person: You’re ensemble? Aw, you totally could have been the lead.

Theatre Person: I am proud to be ensemble in this show!

17. Bad-mouthing a show you’ve never seen.

Person: Oh, "Phantom" is such a terrible show.

Theatre Person: Have you seen it? Do you even know what it's about?

Person: Well, no-

Theatre Person: Go look it up, see the show, then get back to me on a real opinion.

18. Giving actors unasked advice.

Person: You did that scene so well. Maybe next time move around a little more.

Theatre Person: Thanks for the advice. *ignores the advice completely*

19. Actors are not their characters.

Person: You and the other lead must be best friends now, just like your characters.

Theatre Person: Um, no, but I mean they’re nice to work with.

20. Keep your distance during their hell and show weeks.

Person: *smiles* Hey! How's the show going?

Theatre Person: *stares* I'm stressing out, haven't slept in weeks, and have been living on take-out meals and diner food.

21. "Glee" is not Broadway.

Person: That's the song from "Glee" right?

Theatre Person: No, that song is from the musical "Mame."