I had the pleasure of turning 21 this past Wednesday, and amidst the obligatory champagne showers and general merriment, I found myself struck by an existential moment. Holy crap, I thought to myself. Sure, 18 was a total joke, but I might actually be an adult now - I might actually have adult responsibilities, that necessitate me doing actual adult things. As I hyperventilated, I slowly began to put things back into perspective. I mean, this was bound to happen eventually, right? I can do this! Plenty of people do this! All I have to do is give up the myriad bad habits preventing me from blossoming into the impeccably functional grown-up I was born to be. So, without further ado, I present to you the 21 things I vow to stop doing now that I'm 21, and I cordially invite you to participate in this exercise in adulting alongside me.
1. Putting schoolwork before self-care and self-fulfillment.
2. Agreeing to do things I know I won’t be able to follow through on, and then somehow being surprised when I inevitably don’t follow through on them.
3. Drinking diet soda and red bull like they're water and pretending that they won’t literally shut down my kidneys.
4. Giving my number to guys I'm not into because I don’t want to be rude, then winding up never responding when they message me, but still getting a “sup” from them every two to four weeks anyway.
5. Complaining about things I can change, and then unequivocally making no attempt to change them.
6. Using procrastination-induced panic adrenaline to fuel my essay writing just hours before the deadline.
7. Missing deadlines as a result of this practice.
8. Freaking out over missed deadlines as though they are the absolute end of my life.
9. Prioritizing all the wrong things.
10. Leaving my clean laundry unfolded in the basket indefinitely, only to have to dig through it every morning for two weeks or so until I run out of clean underwear, at which point the cycle repeats itself.
11. Going to impressive lengths to avoid cooking a meal for myself.
12. Postponing the pursuit of my dreams to make room for things I could not care less about.
13. Tolerating bullshit in virtually any form, unless I'm getting paid to do it.
14. Failing to keep track of my finances, never checking my bank account, and deluding myself into thinking that everything is okay and there’s no way I could possibly be spiraling into debt.
15. Being afraid to take risks.
16. Getting worked up over things that really don’t matter. Like, at all.
17. Avoiding exercise for ridiculous reasons, like not wanting to have to shower afterward, or not wanting to generate the extra laundry.
18. Screaming internally, literally all of the time.
19. Thinking that everything I do matters.
20. Thinking that nothing I do matters.
21. Putting other peoples’ needs before my own.
So, there you have it. Those are the 21 things I've promised myself I won't do anymore, now that I'm an adult, one who can finally drink [legally]. What would you put on your list?
