Well, that thing I’ve been waiting for since my eighteenth birthday is fast approaching: the glorified twenty-first birthday. This day has been a long time coming and in less than a month I’ll be reaping the benefits of being more of an adult than I already am. That said, although my time on this planet has been pretty short, I have learned a lot about faith, love, life, and most importantly, myself. I thought I’d share just a handful of the lessons that life has handed to me in my own rendition of probably the most basic article on the face of the planet: 21 things that every girl should learn before she turns 21.
1. Don't "keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Just keep your friends close
As crazy as drama can get when we’re in school before college, that’s really all it is: school before college. You’re there to learn. Life isn’t “Game of Thrones,” so there’s no time for waging wars with other students. Reconcile with your enemies. If you can’t, cut them off. Don’t give them the time of day, let alone “keep them closer” than your friends.
2. Take every opportunity that you can to succeed academically
Whether that’s cutting out social time to go all-out on a project, signing up for an AP class, or asking for extra credit, never stop trying to learn. Never get lazy about it. It will be really hard at the moment to sit down and give 110% to every single assignment, but in the long run, it will be extremely worth it.
3. Fall in love once
Falling in love is altogether beautiful, and almost always heartbreaking. It’s the first step to knowing how a relationship works, and it’s basically a rite of passage for any young person. As much as it’s going to hurt, you’ll need this experience to learn how to be an all-around better partner.
4. Never fall in love again
Sounds harsh, doesn’t it? Don’t worry, I’m not suggesting that you should abstain from dating. All I mean by it is, don’t let love become a “feeling” that controls your mind, your heart, and your life. Love should be a choice that you are in control of. Don’t “fall in” a feeling; choose it.
5. It's never too late to apologize
Regardless of the outcome, apologizing is usually the right thing to do. You will never mature as a person until you learn to apologize and accept that an apology does not entitle you to forgiveness or complete reconciliation. Unless the other person makes it absolutely clear that they never want contact with you again, it will do your conscience better, in the long run, to be the bigger person and say you’re sorry for whatever went down.
6. Not all friends are forever friends
It’s a sad truth, but for multiple reasons, sometimes friends just aren’t there to stay. It makes the real forever friends that much more meaningful.
7. Don't be afraid to trust God
He has a plan for you, and He wants nothing but the best for you. Trust in Him with all your heart, even when it’s the hardest to do so.
8. Be ambitious
Take risks. Sometimes playing it safe isn’t enough and you need to dream big. Work to make it happen.
9. Life is short; wear a full face of makeup
Don’t let anyone try to tell you what you can and can’t do with your face. Life is too short to not wear a full face of makeup whenever the heck you feel like it.
10. But also...don't wear a full face of makeup
Life is also too short to not be able to rub your eyes freely in the middle of class. Not wearing makeup sometimes (or most of the time, or all of the time) is okay too. You’re a queen with or without it.
11. Take selfies
Self-love is important in healthy doses. Don’t be a narcissist, but also don’t hesitate to take a selfie when you’re feeling yo’self.
12. Be creative
This isn’t limited to theater, art, or writing. Math and science are beautifully artistic in their own ways. Whatever your forte is, be as creative as you can. We need out-of-the-box thinker more than ever these days.
13. Watch out for the Enemy
Every situation you experience is either a sign from God or a test from the Devil. Learning to spot these situations and react accordingly will help you greatly.
14. Be kind, always
The success that some people may get from being mean is short-lived. In our society now, where calling people out and being petty in the name of moral righteousness or even coolness, it can be too easy to be mean to people for your own glory. Don’t fall victim to this. Always be kind, even if everyone else is saying that you shouldn’t.
15. Forgive others, always
Holding on to grudges and remembering the bad is tiring. Even if people tell you that others don’t deserve forgiveness because they did something “bad enough”, they do. We are all forgiven sinners, and we owe it to each other to forgive each other just as God forgives us. Forgive others because they deserve forgiveness and you deserve peace.
16. Get involved
Nothing will prohibit you from making new friends and exploring things the way that not getting involved will. Join a club, audition for a play, go to youth group. Extracurriculars are more than just ways to make friends and have fun; they can give you great life experiences as well.
17. Pray daily
Any good relationship requires communication. This is especially true for a good relationship with God. The more you talk with Him, the more you’ll become aware of His plan for you and the better your life decisions will be.
18. Your mental health is important
Don’t be afraid to take care of your mental health. Your mind needs just as much love and attention as your physical health.
19. Admit when you're the bad guy
No one is perfect We’re all going to mess up and lose important people. Your problems will be an easier fix when you can admit that you’re in the wrong. Acceptance is the first step towards self-improvement.
20. People can, and do, change
Sorry, Disney’s “Frozen,” but that lyric about people not really changing is incorrect. The biggest reason that people don’t change is because other people around them say that they are incapable of doing so. Know that you can change if you so desire. You are smart enough, strong enough, and capable enough.
21. It's okay to screw up horribly once or twice...or a few times
As long as you can change for the better from it, of course. Sometimes you just can’t learn from observing everyone else and you have to make your own mistakes.
I can confidently say that I’ve learned a lot more than what I’ve listed, but this is an article, not a novel. If you’ve learned all of these things before turning 21, you’re on the road to success. If not, don’t stress too much; there’s always time for positive life changes.
