2016 brought the death of way too many beloved celebrities – from Prince and David Bowie to, more recently, Carrie Fischer and her dear mother Debbie Reynolds. Many have taken to the internet to bemoan the untimely death of their favorite artists, blaming 2016 as the culprit for their ultimate demise.
But I’m here to tell the truth, no matter how unpopular – 2016 didn’t kill your favorite celebrities, your refusal to believe in fairies did.
That’s right, you heard me! I know it feels nice to paint 2016 as the monster that took out the world’s brightest stars, but we need to hold ourselves accountable for our own contributions. We can’t just go blaming our problems on 2016 when we are the actual culprits.
2016 brought the lowest belief in fairies on record. When did this happen? When did we start teaching our children that fairies are fictional? Peter Pan taught us that every time a child says, “I don’t believe in fairies,” there is a fairy somewhere that falls down dead. How did we forget this important lesson?
When looking at the data – the lowest rates of belief in fairies on record matched with an unusually high number of celebrity deaths – there is only one logical conclusion one can come to: the celebrities we lost this past year were all secretly fairies who used their pixie dust to create unmatched art and bring joy to this world. Our stubborn belief that fairies are mythical is the real cause for their departures, not the (admittedly awful) year of 2016.
It’s not a fun fact to face, but it is imperative that we know the truth. 2017 is a new year and with it comes new opportunities (to believe in fairies). We all applauded as children to keep Tinkerbell alive; well, it is now time to put our finest clapping skills to the test. Don’t want to lose Betty White this year? Well then, you better butter up those palms!
So, if you believe in fairies: clap your hands! And keep clapping every second of every day, throughout the entirety of 2017!
In a world that refuses to acknowledge the reality of fairies, it is our only hope.
