Dear 2015,

You have been so undeniably beautiful in the most unexpected ways. You have shown me that this year has been far from perfect at times, but that is life. All of our decisions, our minutes, our people and our experiences, are solely our own. Just like this year, pain is temporary, but it is meant to teach us something more, and through that pain and those memories, you have helped me find the most spectacular thing of all: myself.

You gave me a gentle kiss on my last ever prom night, a book that changed my life with every page, and a college acceptance letter with promises of new experiences that awaited every corner of my heart as I dreaded the end.

You let me experience that final dance team routine after four years, running off the floor in uncontrollable tears because we finally landed the perfect jump, whilst letting the song “I’m Only Human” resonate with me so much more than just physical dance moves. Instead, it gave me a piece of relativity during my most unstable nights all while bringing awareness to the struggles of suicide.

You have given me a sense of God’s faith and life’s true importance after surviving a car crash that could have ended my life in a split second.

You faced me with that final musical performance, that last choir concert, with the ones who watched me as scared freshman grow into a senior with the confidence of knowing it all but at the same time knowing absolutely nothing at all.

You led me on that fearless but nervous walk as I crossed the school stage for the final time, collecting my diploma with the shakiest hands in the entire world, (seriously), because I was beyond nervous for the future ahead of me and the girl I would soon become.

You gave me the chance to meet the wonderful John Green and go to summer night concerts, screaming at the top of my lungs with one of my best friends in the whole world, feeling indefinably infinite as I saw the lights, the thousands of people around me singing for thousands of different reasons, and the bruised world as blissfully whole for the first time.

You let me cross paths with someone that has shown me what its like to fall in love and to evoke a passionate love for the people around me.

You reminded me of my dream for creating words on a page, and gave me the ambition to never lose sight of who I was when I bled my thoughts to the only journal that would listen when my entire world was shattering.

You gave me a summer drive, with my hair tangled in the wind and a limitless galaxy of stars that mixed and rode with the speed of my racing heart that could never be tamed.

You gave me the importance of family and forgiveness, and the strength to hold my shaking little sister and convince her that middle school isn’t the end of the world.

You have given me a long night filled with imperfect karaoke singing on all the wrong notes, knowing that everyone in the room was messed up in their own way, but not caring because we were us, and in that moment, it was the only thing that was never going to change.

You have given me an incentive to wander to the smallest places, and scope out the unseeing beauty, even if only located in the tiniest flower amongst a field of dead grass.

This year wasn’t about the hard times; It was about the unforeseen reasons to smile, and the million reasons to love the beautiful life all of us are given. It hurts to let go, but I will always remember all of the lessons you have taught me and all of the lovely feelings you have given me for the rest of my life.

Thank you, 2015, you have given me the world.

-C.S.