Your 20s is an extremely liminal time in your life: you move away, you begin your career, you fall in love, you forget people. The first year of my 20s has already been one of the hardest, but it has also been one of the best. There are so many changes we undergo during this time, and we probably don't have it all figured out yet (I know I don't!). One of the biggest keys to surviving your 20s is knowing how to cope with change.
Here are 20 things I've learned the first year of my 20s:
1. Learn how to move on.
Learn how to move on from friends, jobs, lovers.
2. Comparison kills.
Everyone is on a journey. You may be at a different stage than the person next to you so don't compare.
3. Your friends shape you.
Who you're friends with with and what kind of lifestyle your friends lead greatly influence who you are. We are still growing into our adult selves in our early 20s, after all.
4. Some friends are for life.
No matter what the distance, time of year, or relationship circumstances, you will have friends that are for life. It won't matter if you don't talk for three months; you can pick up where you left off, I promise.
5. Don't force things.
Don't force a relationship to work. Don't "make" people like you. If it doesn't happen naturally, it's not worth it.
6. It's okay to change your mind.
I have changed my mind about my major, my career path, and even about my love life over this past year. And that is perfectly fine! We cannot determinedly set our path, nor can we foresee how the next year will shape us.
7. You cannot relive the past.
We can never go back to that perfect summer. It's for the best. We move on and grow from our experiences.
8. Work is hard.
Whatever the case may be, work can get hard; we have to push through.
9. You are capable of more than you think.
Mentally and physically, we are capable of so much more than we allow ourselves to conceptualize. Push yourself.
10. Relationships can make you crazy.
Relationships with friends, family, and/ or significant others can drive you to insanity sometimes (I can definitely attest to this). The relationships that fall apart under pressure just weren't strong enough.
11. Time works wonders.
From breakups to rejection letters, time heals all, and we forget.
12. Spend money on memories, not things.
Spending money on trips, music festivals, and outings with friends is 100 percent more fulfilling than buying yourself that new Michael Kors bag or pair of Yeezy sneakers.
13. Do things for yourself; you're the most important person in your life.
So many times I have found myself trying to please others at my own expense. Please live your life. Do you.
14. Don't be a basic B*TCH.
Don't just go along with trends. Make your own path. Let people remember you for you.
15. Celebrate.
Celebrate your birthday, celebrate your friends, celebrate a sunny day, celebrate holidays. Being in your 20s is reason enough to celebrate. Celebrate life; it's amazing.
16. Fashion matters.
Fashion conveys your personal style, personality, and professionalism. What we put on in the morning says something about us, whether we acknowledge it or not.
17. Self-awareness is crucial.
Self awareness allows you to understand other people and how they perceive you. Having a clear understanding of your personality, your strengths and weakness, your beliefs, your emotions, and your thoughts is so important and adds a depth to your maturity.
18. Health is wealth.
If I don't feel my best physically, I don't feel my best mentally.
19. Change isn't bad.
Change can seem like the end of the world sometimes, but I promise it's not. Moving across the country, starting a new job with people you don't know, or leaving a place you really loved all seems so overwhelming, but every time we make a change, we adjust. We acclimate to change, and it eventually becomes our new norm.
20. You don't have everything figured out and that's okay.
I used to (obsessively) plan my life. I learned that it's okay that I don't have everything figured out right now. Most importantly, it's okay that I am not stuck on one particular plan of my life.
