As I say goodbye to my teenage years I can’t help but reflect on what was learned within those vulnerable times of not being sure of what the future holds. Within those times, I went back and forth between wanting to stay young forever and wishing time would move faster. Now here I am at 20, and I find myself more independent and facing the large world ahead of me, with my parents no longer holding my hand, guiding me through each step; which is very bittersweet. However, through my 20 years I have gathered these 20 lessons, which have helped guide me down a successful path.

1. Middle school is a time for experimenting.

This is the time to learn whom you will become. Yes, the pictures make you feel a flash of embarrassment because of the amount of eyeliner you wore, but it’s a learning process. The same concept goes for friends. You will inevitably change your friend groups multiple times and see who you fit in with the best. Most likely the ones you click with will be your friends throughout high school as well.

2. Girls are not always nice.

High school isn’t always smooth sailingand you may feel betrayed by those friends you thought would be yours forever. However, let this be a sign you were not with the right friend group and take initiative to seek a new one.

3. You will experience multiple heartbreaks in high school.

You will fall head over heels and things won’t work out. These relationships are just stepping stones, take what you can learn from them and then move on. It’s OK to give people second chances in a relationship but if it comes time for a third chance, you must let go. You’re young and negative people should not be filling your life. When you are 20 and reflect on high school all these heartbreaks will seem miniscule.

4. You will inevitably end up missing high school.

You can say you won’t miss high school until you’re blue in the face but something will eventually remind you of it and you will miss it. And when you do miss it, that’s OK. In high school, you interacted with the same people every day, and many special memories were created there.

5. College shows you who your true friends are.

As you hug on your last day of senior year, you promise you will stay in touch and see each other over break. Many of those people you won’t see besides through social media. As for the friends you do see and keep in touch with, hold them close; these will be your friends forever.

6. For some, freshman year of college is more frightening than liberating.

It’s your first time away from your family, your home, your friends, for an extended period of time and it’s OK to cry.

7. It’s also OK to not always have everything together.

In these times it’s best to seek help, even if you know your stubborn self doesn’t want to. Stress from college can bring out a whole new side of you. Find ways to keep your stress at a minimum whether it be reading, writing, or working out at the gym. These positive outlets will help you get your mind off of schoolwork and keep your mental state in a positive place.

8. Never settle for a school.

Transferring is intimidating. However, if this is truly where you see yourself being happy, that is most important and everything else will fall into place. There is no reason to stay at a school you are not happy at especially because you will be at that school for the next four years.

9. Get involved!

Schoolwork can feel overwhelming already so it’s easy to think, “Why should I join a club?” However, being a part of something and getting involved is a great feeling, especially if it’s something you’re passionate about. Having another commitment other than class can help increase your time-management skills as well as introduce you to new people.

10. Death is a difficult concept to grasp.

Losing someone you love is the most heart-wrenching feeling and the ache in your heart never fully goes away. Trying to fathom why they had to be taken from you can drive you crazy, so instead pray to them when you miss them, talk about them, and make sure to keep their memory alive.

11. I will always miss my mom.

No matter how old I get every time I go back to college it never gets any easier. It’s hard leaving your best friend behind. My mom will always be my go-to person whenever I need to share what’s going on in my life. I will always look to her for guidance and take her word above everyone else’s. She’s the first person I look forward to reuniting with on a break from school.

12. That bad test grade does not define you.

That bad test grade does not define you or your future for that matter. Classes are not always going to be easy and you may end up struggling your way through the semester. Always put your best foot forward with these classes and meet with your teachers for help. It will make a difference when they are familiar with your face.

13. Relaxation is important.

Sometimes the weekends are necessary for strictly relaxing and not going out. Don’t feel guilty if you end up finishing a whole season on Netflix. Instead, embrace it. Give your body the rest and relaxation it deserves!

14. Going out is necessary sometimes.

The school week sometimes gets the best of you and nothing lifts your spirits more than a night out with the girls. Put on a cute outfit, do your makeup and hair, and let yourself have fun! Schoolwork is important but you have to allow yourself to let loose once in awhile or you will go crazy! You owe it to yourself.

15. Things are not always going to work out the way you plan.

It’s best to just roll with the punches. Life is unpredictable and it’s easier to be flexible than try to fight fate. Many things happen in life that will be beyond your control, but instead of getting upset about it, make the best of the situation.

16. Blood is thicker than water.

Of course, when you are younger you don’t want to believe this saying. Your best friends are basically considered family to you, but if there comes a time they are flaky, your family is always there. At the end of the day you can always depend on them to be welcoming you with open arms.

17. Holding grudges is useless.

Take it from someone who is the best at holding grudges...they are nothing but wasted energy. For many years I got a satisfying appeal from grudges as if my negative feelings were somehow hurting the person who hurt me. However, this not how it works, and holding grudges are more of a reflection of yourself. It’s time to be the bigger person and rather than letting someone control your feelings, just let them free from your mind.

18. Your parents are stronger than you think.

Our parentshold us together during every difficult situation that comes our way. Even when they are hurting too, they always can find a way to comfort us. Parents are our foundation and do so much more for us than we can thank them for.

19. Bad things will happen to good people.

Many times it will seem as if the tragedies occurring around you are happening to these straight-A students, the involved, young and nice people your age. It will make these tragedies even harder to understand and to wrap your head around. For some of these events you can try to make sense of why they had to happen by spreading awareness, or having people be more careful and think twice before making risky decisions. However, some events just show you how unfair life is and you should comfort those who are affected at the time.

20. If anything time speeds up; it never slows down.

Every year time finds a way to fly by even faster. As you get older days begin to go faster as well and it feels as if you can’t fit all you need to get done into one day. Take advantage of the time you are given and put your phone down. Yes, capturing moments with pictures is great; however, really being in that moment and soaking up everything is priceless. Don’t blink because you will never be able to get time back.